confidance

[sophie_1003]

If you were friends with your partner's mates partner (eg, your girlfriends mates boyfriend) and told them something in confidance would you then be annoyed if they shared that information with their own partner? If that makes sense?

[blondebird]

I had a friend who's fellas partner was playing away and left his mobile in the changing room and that was his excuse.

[hussy]

once one person knows something then its all over very hard to trust anybody!!

[EngTeach]

I learned the hard way that you must always assume that what one half of a couple knows the other half will know too. It makes no difference which gender is your friend, they always tell!!!!

[sophie_1003]

okay, dont really get your answer, basically the situations was this- my boyfriends mates girlfriend and I were talking and she said about our boyfriends mates cheating on their girlfriends, she said not to tell anoyone about it I text my boyfriend saying about what she'd said (presumed he already knew about his mates being unfaithful) and to nag for some reassurance hat he'd never do that. My boyfriend was with his mate at the time and told him who then text his girlfriend who then seemed really annoyed at me. If I tell my friends anything I expect them to tell their boyfriends as I tell my boyfriend everything. But was she 'right' to be annoyed at me or do other people tell their partners everything too?

[sophie_1003]

just to clarify, she didnt say anything about it just seemed really off with me

[hau kola]

Partners dont always tell.Ive had this very situation tonight.My bf new something about our friends.I guessed what it was but he still wouldnt tell me if i was correct.Its not that he didnt want to tell me,just that he`d been sworn to secrecy(sp) and felt he didnt want to betray his mate.

[VillageVicar]

In a simplistic world, if you tell one half of a couple, the other will complete the cycle and tell their partner.

In an less simplistic world, why would you say anything personal, if you wanted it to remain precisely that - personal.

This is probably a good life-lesson. 'Loose lips sink ships.'

But personally, I'd try to forgive and just move on....remembering this episode for the next time you feel inclined to share something 'personal' with someone...

Be well

Fr Bill

[sophie_1003]

thanks for your answers, not dwelling on it too much and hoping that the whole situation will pass over soon but was just curious of others opinions!
hau kola- if i'd been absolutely sworn to secrecy then i wouldn't have told him so easily about it, certainly not through text message but because it was concerning his mates I (seemingly wrongly) presumed that he already knew the information! Ah well hopefully it'll be ok soon!

[hau kola]

sophie,try not to worry,these things usually work out in the end.Take care.x

[Whickerman]

FrBill is right - as usual! - if you tell half a couple consider it spread all the way.

[bednobs]

but she asked you not to tell anyone, and the first thing you did was tell someone!

[sophie_1003]

I know that but if i told her something I would expect her to tell her boyfriend, in fact that has happened but i didnt get annoyed about it because I knew id do the same! think its different to my 'usual' friend as well because were only really friends cos of our boyfriends! thanks for all your opinions anyway! not sure whether i should apologise or just let it blow over?