Repentance?

[naomi24]

I thought my incredibly intelligent and literate friends on R&S might appreciate this - but sorry guys, the only connection I can make between religion and the joke is that I was once acquainted with a very handsome parrot who spoke in the most colourful and shocking language - and his name was Moses. A very Merry Christmas everyone.

The Parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music, and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up, and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot, and the parrot got angrier and became even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird, and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes, the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said to John, 'I believe I may have offended you with my vulgar language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my belligerent and unforgivable behaviour.'

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. Just as he was about to ask the parrot what had caused such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird continued, 'May I ask what the turkey did?'

[Whickerman]

that's a classic...!! :-)

[luna-tic]

That's a cracker !!!
:0)

[Lonnie]

Hi naomi,
That is brilliant.
i'm still laughing.

Afraid I can't access the beta site at present, but have a wonderful Christmas.

[beryllium]

Oh Naomi that was brilliant!!! :D

Happy Holidays Guys and Gals.

B. xxx

[Cetti]

Oh naomi, that is so funny.

Covered in flour and shaking with laughter....!!! Thank you for posting that bit of joy and all good Christmas wishes to you and your family.

[Teloz]

That was really funny... pmsl

Thank you Naiomi!

I've taken the liberty of pasting your joke on the UKCampsite.co.uk forum, I hope you don't mind, I've given you the credit!

[naomi24]

Teloz Please do pass it on if you want to - and no need to give me the credit. It made me laugh so much, I just thought I share it.

[naomi24]

Cetti So pleased I gave you a laugh - although I'm sorry if it's had an adverse effect on the Christmas baking!! How was your evening of Carols? I thought of you as I was warbling(?) along with ours on Friday night - even though I knew that you and I wouldn't be singing in unison due to the time difference! Thank you - and a very happy Christmas to you and yours too.

[Teddio]

Hilarious! Tommy Cooper would be envious of that one.

[Octavius]

Nice one naomi.

felix dies Nativitatis, omnia felicia et fausta tibi sint.

ave atque vale

[Cetti]

Poor old Felix, Octavius. Very sad.

[Octavius]

Well, as you say, he was knocking on a bit � his �dies� were numbered.

[naomi24]

Cetti and Octavius What a great double act you two would make. Ever thought of doing panto? Oh no they haven't!! Oh yes they have!!!!

[chakka35]

Hilarious,naomi. The tears ran down my legs.

[naomi24]

Haaaaaaa! It's nothing to do with your age, is it Chakka?

[Octavius]

Too right Naomi, in fact we already are a music hall double act. We call ourselves Unhinged & Bracket. We haven�t done panto for yonks. It�s a bit pass�.

I won�t tell you which one Cetti is, but to give you just a little clue, I�m Bracket.

[Octavius]

Incidentally I hope you were sober when indulging in the singing of carols. Whilst even slightly intoxicated, trying to sing the tongue-twisting line

♫ Thus spake the seraph and forthwith,
appeared a shining throng ♫

From �While shepherds watch� can cause significant personal embarrassment and some rather dirty looks from the choirmaster.

[naomi24]

Octavius Oh, I used to love Hinge & Bracket. They made me laugh so much. If Unhinged and Bracket are anything like as funny as they were, I'll be in the front row every night!!

Sober when singing carols? Don't be daft! Anyway, no one will have noticed - I can't sing that line coherently either way!