Should i?

[oggy777]

My wife of 20 years has M/S, bad. I work 40 hours a week and look after all the house chores, the kids and her. The M/S has changed her both mentally and phisically and although i could and would never leave her, i no longer love her. "Love" turned to "careing for" a few years back. Recently i have had to change job and now work away during mon- thurs and pay someone to help her. Her family help too. I pick up all the chores at the weekend. I have meet a lady who i like and she likes me. She knows about my situation but would like to take things futher. She knows i would never walk away from my wife leaving my daughter as her carer. I know its not fair on my wife, or the lady in question really, but dont i deserve some fun for a little while? Before i become a full time carer for the rest of my life.

[bednobs]

i am in your wife's position and dread the fact i know that illnesses can change peoples personalities and relationships. i rely on my husband for a lot of things, although not as much as your wife by the sounds of it. e and my husband have talked about the kind of situation you are describing. I have asked him that if he ever feels like he is in the position to want an affair then he be very descreet so i don't find out - as long as he dosent fall in love or leave me!!!!. My philosphy is what i dont know cant hurt me. I realise in reality that scenario is unrealistic, so just hope it never happens! However, i feel i have given him tacit permission to have an affair if he needs to.
It is an awful situation for both partners because i cant help what is happening to me and he cant help resent the fact it's changing me! Mostly i deal with it by desperately trying not to make him my carer.
I cant belive it, i'm actually crying writing this because it seems so bloody unfair for him

[Quoi]

Respect to you Bedknobs - and my bestest wishes

[Jillius]

Oh bednobs, I'm so sorry for you xx

[oggy777]

Thanks for all your thoughts, they really help.

Gravytate, I really hope you never have to suffer M/S or watch the person you love fall apart in front of you. Think you need to think a little and grow up some!!!

Bednobs, you cryed when you wrote it and i when i read it! Thankyou for being that open.