Zammo, I know how he must feel, on a small scale, I am onto my third bout today! It drives me mad. Poor guy.
My friend is the master (mistress?) of fixing the hiccups, she just chats to you until they're gone, her theory being the more you concentrate on the fact you have hiccups, the longer they last!
To add to Monty's suggestion, your helper has to press against you nostrils also. In essence you are cutting off the airway. Also, it has to be a large glass of water. Like any other 'cure' this does not work for everyone: but, it works for me and most people I've tried it on.
A colleague sshowed me this years ago, must admit it worked. Give the sufferer a full glass of water to hold and tell them to concentrate on not spilling it whilst also trying to make out the word or phrase you are 'writing' on the forehead with your finger. Similar theory of distraction to leelapops.
If there`s no water about, what then? I always breath in very slowly and hold it as long as poss before exhaling also very slowly and hold it again. Do this a few times and your hiccups will stop.
Hiccups are due to involuntary action of the diaphram. Take a deep breath and hold. Bit hard to describe but with full lungs push down into your tummy area. Hold for a while (without turning blue or hopefully hiccuping). It works for me but sometimes takes a couple of goes. And no water needed.
Got hiccups in a bar in the reef last year.Usually they take ages to go.Barowner said ive got a cure .He came back with a teaspoon of sugar.Then he poured vinegar onto the spoonful of sugar.told me to swallow it down in one go.Really weird.But it worked right away.Hes from newcastle and says it works everytime in the pub.So now you know.
I mostly take the hiccups when/after drinking too much so I tried to counteract this by eating as many dry biscuits as I could get into my mouth. Munch these and try to eat some more without swallowing any. Now munch and chew, trying not to swallow at all untill you have a smooth biscuit paste in your mouth. Of course some will be swallowed but try not to until it is a soft paste and by this time (5 mins) the hiccups are gone. Works for me, although my wife says it's just an excuse to get eating biscuits. It works anyway, try it.