self harming

[bubbles4920]

my friend has discovered that her 20 yr old daughter who lives at home is self harming. her boyfriend of 2yrs wants to finish with her and she is begging for him to come back,meet up etc, stay over etc. my friend has found a pic on her phone of her thighs scratched with a pin? in huge letters saying liar on one thigh and sorry on the other. she has sent this to her boyfriend. her daughter has a poor self image anyway, is very overweight now and seems on a road to destruction generally and doesnt think she will ever get another boyfriend. of course my friend and her hubby haventt told her daughter that shes seen this pic. any ideas what they should do? i suggested my friend make an excuse to see her legs but she never wears skirts, only leggings and always locks the door when in the bath or getting changed. i am really, well we all are really fearful of what she may do next. any advice of what you maybe have experienced similar may be of some help. her daughter is a very determined girl who sets her sights on something and must have things ie moving in with her boyfriend but they cant afford it. she is about to drop out of uni and not go back after easter. we obviously dont want her to do anything silly to herself.

[leelapops]

Oh bubbles, I really feel for your friend and her husband. They must be worried sick. Their daughter really needs to get help, but broaching the subject can be really difficult. It is worthwhile if your friend lets her daughter she knows she is there anytime she wants to talk. It seems her behaviour is more attention-seeking than real desire to damage and so your friend could just let her daughter know she has been concerned about her, and that she is very much loved.
Your friend might also want to get in touch with a self-harm counselling organisation (Google for local ones, or a helpline number) for more specialist advice.

Lots of luck x

[Le Chat]

Her daughter feels very lousy about herself. (as you know already!) She also feels like she has no control over her life or over anyone. She is desperate to hang on to this boyfriend with a feeling of absolute terror that he may go, as she feels she may lose control of herself. She also feels that no one listens to her and she has no power over anything that happens.
In a way, she wants her own way so badly, she is prepared to hurt herself. There is a lack of immaturity here and the supposed notion that we can control the actions of others by making them do what we want them to.
I know this because I had a period of time where I felt the same.
What she needs is love, affection, and to be talked to and listened to. I had a couple of years of group therapy and learned to express myself, my wants, needs and desires through the medium of words rather than 'attention seeking' methods, which are only really understood by the person doing them.

[Info Bank]

A talk with the Daughter and some councilling is needed.
Very difficult situation .....family must talk about there Worries to her.
Explaining how concerned they are and Supportive they will be.