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*Princess* | 03:34 Thu 27th Mar 2008 | Body & Soul
15 Answers
I don't really know what to say, other than the fact I'm really struggling at the moment.

I'm finding it so hard to get out of bed in a morning, I'm feeling 'weak' mentally, even though officially I can't be in my job, and I'm starting to dread going into work, which I can;t understand as it's my dream job.

I've been working long hours and work seems to be my life, but I'm losing my love of it. I feel like I need more, but I'm too exhausted to do anything. I literally wake up, go to work early, come in late, forget to eat, struggle to sleep then it all begins again.

It's not just work, I just feel like its all getting on top of me. I have issues I need to work through, guy troubles, stress from friends, duties I promised to do (I never break a promise).

I guess I just feel like everything is closing in on me and I wish I was back to being a teenager again, where I could deal with things differently.

Any advice would be great. I can't drop any responsibilities at work and I'm not taking holiday. I can't let people outside of work down, some rely on me for simple things like shopping or helping them get out an about, but I'm just struggling so much and don't know where to turn. Things are a bit of a mess :o(
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I sympathise with you very much. Yours is a similar story to mine, only I ended up having to take 6 months off work in 2006, and then this year, had to leave my job completely, due to sepression, anxiety, and all of the associated symptoms, some of which you have listed above.
My lifestyle of hard physical work, long hours and shiftwork, together with taking on many responsibilites for others has just burned me out. You are in the same position that I found myself in about three years ago.
I think that you will have to let some people down, to make your life and workload more tolerable.
You are burning up your physical and mental reserves, and you need to take a step back right now, and reduce your workload and stress levels. Good luck!
Like Theland, i have also been in a similar situation as yourself, princess.
It is a horrible place to be and put me on the anti-depressants for a while.

What i found helped me was having someone to talk to about things - not on an internet forum, but in the real world...someone who you can get a proper reply from, who can give face to face advice.
It might sound difficult to admit out in the open that things are getting too much for you, but sometimes you've just got to bite the bullet and do it.

Prioritise the things you have to do - be that favours for friends, your family, etc, etc.
There is no need to say you'll do this or that, then have it all crammed into your head, where, with the way you are feeling, you might forget about, then feel even worse!
Write things down, take notes....always helps me.
I usually carry with me a small notebook, so i can write things down and remember later on.

At work, if things are getting on top of you, then take a step back - take a day and try and re-organise your job.
If there are things that can be done a different way, then do it. You need, especially now, to get back to a normal working day - start at a normal time and finish at a normal time.
You dont HAVE to start early and finish late - if your job definitely asks for that, then why not consider looking at other jobs....even if this is your dream one?
It's something i did a year or two ago - and i've never looked back
No job is worth more than your mental and physical health!

All in all, you need to slow down and take a step back.
Life is too short to be stressed up like this....trust me!

Good luck, princess.
Any more advice you need, just give me a shout.
The positive thing is you have realised you have a problem and things aren't right, the next step is do something about you, you sound as if you are way to stressed,you must prioritise things in your life, not every little thing has to be done right now, you say you are not taking holidays, why not? you need one now, we all need time to ourselves, work, work, work? why why, why ?

you seriously need to think about what is happening to you, or you will have a complete breakdown, then what good are you to anybody, you will start to go on a downward spiral that is hard to get out of, please stop, look at what is happening to you and do something about it before it makes you ill, you must eat, you must sleep. try coming home from work, relax in a warm bath with some classical music on ,sit down watch some crap on the tele and try not to think, let your mind go blank for a little while, you may not fancy doing what i suggest, but do something, NOW, good luck and take care, Ray
take a few days off work (if u have holidays left) :) turn your fone off and just pamper yourself!! :)
I understand that you say you're not taking holidays and your need to live up to your promises, but I'm sorry to tell you that you will be good to man or beast if you don't let go of these standards you have set for yourself!

I'm pretty sure that any familiy/friends worth their salt would understand that you need to slow down!

You need to write down a list of everything you 'think' you need to do and then cut it right back to a managable (realistic) list and put yourself right on top of the priority!

Take care x x x x
My old boss was signed off for months with depression; he described it like being a spring that was being tightened and tightened over years and years.

If the spring keeps being tightened, at some stage, it will be an impossibility to tighten it any more and will just uncoil itself = breakdown.

You should try to uncoil yourself for a few weeks and then you get a minute to focus on what is really important, and that is health.

If you are on the pill - have you changed that recently?? A friend of mind changed hers and within a week, she was feeling just like you. It turned out that it was a side effect of it?

Chin up kid.
Well, all good advice there. It sounds like a lot of stress to me which can lead to all sorts of psychological and physical problems. As you can see from above, and from me, many people have been there.

Someone said above that you have taken positive steps to recognise there is a problem, and that is exactly right.

If you can, I would avoid taking any anti-depressants unless they are really really necessary.

Take a step back from all those issues you have listed. Then take stock of them, write them down perhaps. Maybe it all seems too much because you are trying to deal with all of them at once. I don�t think any of us could cope with that, so try breaking them down into chunks, or prioritising, just manageable pieces that give you focus and you can give your full attention without being hassled by the others. Set time limits if you like, so that some boundaries are set � you don�t need things dragging on.

Then deal with the ones you can change, cope with or accept the ones you can�t change, set yourself some targets and arrange something that you can look forward to when you have achieved half AND all of the targets.

It worked for me. Good luck.
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Thank You so much for your replies, I didn't think anyone would bother! I do appreciate it.

I guess you're all right, I mean I know you are, but it's just kinda hard to know where to start. I've taken Saturday off as a holiday, so I'll have the whole weekend off, for the first time, in over a year, so that's a start! It's only one day but I'm looking forward to it already! Hopefully a friend and I will go to the coast for the night, just to get away.

As for my job, I love it, it's everything I've ever worked for, but I feel like I'm running out of steam a bit. I mean I was in for 6am and have only just got home, I'm shattered and maybe it's not best for the clients, if I wasn't as tired, I'd probably be able to help them more.

Maybe I'll just start with the little things and try to fix them?

Thanks again for all your replies xxx
Question Author
Sorry I just noticed a lot of people mention depression, I really don't think I am, I'm just so tired! I wouldn't take anti-depressants either, I'd try everything else first! The ironic thing is in my job I deal with these types of people, offer advice, but it's always the hardest thing for me to take - advice! But thank you for all yours, I realise I need to change something x
Hi Princess, so good for you to take that break, have a great weekend, and remember as much as you love your work, which is brilliant, you can't do it all, and all the work will still be here long after we have all gone, just try to wind down a bit and enjoy a bit of time for you, take care and good luck, Ray
Some great advice from people who have been there and brought the t-shirt I think, Like so many on here I suffered the same fate, work couldn't manage without me , giving it my all, not taking my holiday entitlement, staying late to make sure it was ready to go the following day etc etc etc , a word of advice , I found this out the hard way even after being told many times by wiser older people,
*Go to work do your job to the best of your ability,
*Delegate task's to other not so busy colleagues,
*Work smarter not harder,
*Finish on time , unless you want the overtime
*what gets done in your working time gets done, what doesn't will wait till the morning,
*Always have your holiday entitlement,

Fact is the company would carry on if you dropped dead tommorow, and if you did go sick they would call you black and blue, work to live NOT live to work, make some time for you ,
As for shopping for others , don't get emotionally blackmailed into this, do it on the internet for them and get it delivered for them , its far easier and will free your time up ,
this is not a rehearsal, make the best of your own free time to recharge your batterys or you will burn yourself out and be useless to anyone, please take some of this advice and best of luck !!
Very well put tufty.

the only thing I can add to that is, please remember

"Todays favours are tomorrows habits"
Hi Raysparx x
How are you ? I am so so happy xxxxx
Hiya lil, I am good thanks, that is so brilliant, really happy for you, so all is going well then, it was always gonna happen to somebody as nice as you. can i add you on friends list? take care and hope to speak soon, Ray xx
That would be wonderful Ray thankyou x I always enjoy chatting with you x

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