controlling mother

[miss]

what do u do when ur partners mother is controlling and makes u feel like a spare part cos anything i could do she could do better for him. she also has to know his every move and texts and phones him alot. hes 22 and not a clue on the grown up world because everything has been done for him.

my bf knows whats goin on and has tried to stand up to her tellin her he can do things on his own but she gets moody with him!! (a guilt trip is put on him cos apparently hes pushin her away!) so the fact i dont go round now is being gossiped about within the family - when i havent even done anything cos its my choice whether i go round or not!!

can anyone give me any help on how to handle this - and plz dont tell me to go round and talk about it with her cos some home truths about her will be said by me and i prob wont speak to her again! thanks xx

[Marvin84]

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/sim-explorer/explore-items/-/0060507853/0/101/1/none/purchase/ref=pd_sxp_elt_mor/103-1815527-2840604

Try this link.... it's to a book called Toxic In-Laws.... It's supposed to be a helpful guide in this situation....

 

Best of Luck.....

[simms]

You love him but this situation won't do you good in the long term. He needs to look at his mother as another adult - would he allow another adult to be that way to you? I don't see how you can do anything other than accept his choices - or if he won't sort it out, choose another partner.

[Diablod666]

im 14, and i can tell already that my mum is going to turn out like that. and if i was going to tell my future self some advice to get me out of that kind of trouble, it would be to be a man and stand up to my mum. and even though she gives the guilt trip about pushing her away, tell her that its her own fault, and that if she doesnt change her ways then she's going to lose him completely. hope this helps ;)

[food_techie]

Good! - don't talk or see her, unless you have to - if it is necesary make it brief. I think it is about a loss of power and her trying to gain control back - you need to have confidence in yourself and not let her get to you - easy to say - but it does work over time(sort of).
Tell him you are hurt by it all and if necessary - ie. very serious relationship between the two of you - tell him you have had enough of hurting over it and want him to cut back on his time with her. Been there, done that - and still married ; ) Good luck - let me know if you have any success in your new strategies - cause I'm open to hear about anything that works.

[auro]

My mother is a travel agent - ................in guilt trips. x

[miss]

thankyou for the answers. Hes told his mum that hes comin to mine for xmas maybe only for half the day (i didnt ask him.. he just wanted to for a change) and she appears to have accepted but i think she maybe annoyed with him cos she hasnt phoned or text him for about 4 days!!!!!!! cant win eh!!