Pregnant

[wisewomen]

We dont know what to do.

We've just found out we are 5 weeks pregnant.

We moved house last Nov and are finding that we are struggling financially more than we expected. We cannot afford to sell due to the cost of moving and the state of the housing market but we cannot afford the house and a baby. Cannot bring ourselves to abort the baby either.

What should/could we do?

[natalie_1982]

It's all relative though Si, between me and my husband we take home �2200 each month and our outgoings (mortgage, utility bills, council tax, food shopping, petrol, etc) total �2090. If I sacrificed much more we'd have to stop eating altogether. Don't sit and pontificate on here when you don't know people's personal circumstances. Wisewoman was asking for advice, not your opinion on whether �40K is enough to raise a baby with.

[wisewomen]

Everyone lives to their means these days and we are no exeption. We worked had to work had to earn what we do and also to get the house that we have got. We bought our house at the height of the housing market and yes our mortgage is over �1k a month. This is reasonable for us to afford but this pregnancy was unforeseen probably due to me having to come off the pill due to medical reasons, although we thought we were being as careful as we could be.

I know what people think and that is that if we earn alot we should be able to afford anything but I wish this were the case.

Maybe we should not have bought the bigger house, we constantly think that but we did and now we are in this situation.

[4getmenot]

not at all. I;m sure most people know that the less you work the more money you bring in nowadays. Thats why this post has made me really angry

[redcrx]

WW, you will find a way if its what you want to do.

Good luck xx

[4getmenot]

My mate had an abortion when she was very young as she was in a hostel and knew she didn�t want to give baby that life, she still regrets it yet I tell her it was right thing to do at the time. No-one should judge you but I really feel that you can do it. Xxx Good Luck

[May1982]

Congrats!
I think having a baby is a great thing
I found some pregnancy and baby videos which I think you'll find very informative and useful.
http://www.sutree.com/videos/Pregnancy_and_Bab y/8432

[FoxLee2]

�40,000 might seem like a massive income but don't forget the more you earn, the more tax and NI you pay. As you've bought a 'family' house, this suggests you have some empty rooms. Would it be feasible to have an au pair - you'd have to pay her but if she took care of the baby, it would cost less than childcare fees.

[lnknprkbabe]

you will be fine, i had a good job and could afford everything i or my partner desired, when i fell preg i was worried about losing house etc, we are now on 12000 a yr from 30000 but we manage it just means we dont get luxury items any more, tax credits help and they should help with child care cost so dont worry too much.
just enjoy your pregnancy, when the baby is born you will realise its worth the little sacrifices you will have to make.
good luck

[andrea81]

It's easy for me to say I know - but you will manage. When we had our first baby, i was in tears at the thought of not being able to afford to live in our house! But we we managed.

I'm expecting my second now and same worries are creeping in, but I know we will manage as we have to!

You've had some sound advice, and I do think that after you look at what you can claim.

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/protect/benef its-check

This above link has a Q & A form that will tell you all you are intitled to.

Good luck and try not to worry x x x

[rachmc]

Not many people could afford a baby if we sat and worked out what they actually cost, yet we all manage! Myself and my husband thought we couldn't afford children now we have 3! We have handed down all the (decend) clothing and they have all had the same cot etc (luckily we had 3 boys!). You will survive. Where as you may go out for a drink on Friday nights, you may find that you'd be more content to make a picnic and go for a walk. Hope this helps. I have been there and proibably so have 80% of parents!

[aims1202]

Is there anyway that you could work from home once the baby is here? that way you get to stay with your baby and you dont have to pay for childcare and you wont loose your income, even if it means a career change surely its worth it. there are a few websites that advertise jobs working from home.
www.mumandworking.co.uk
www.jobs4mothers.com
i think the idea of renting out a room, if your house is big enough is a good idea too. look at all your options before you decide, it maybe that its not all as bad as you think and you will be ok, good luck.

[wisewomen]

Thanks for all you advice.

I wish I could work from home but dont think i would earn enough to make it worthwhile but i'll definately look into it.

As for the idea of renting out a room i dont know anyone who would want to rent a room in a house with a new born baby!!!

[4getmenot]

wisewoman have you made a decision at all?

[lil123]

I found myself in a similar situation a few years ago as my2 daughters were grown up the youngest nearly 16 and I was pregnant again completely out of the blue I had a great career and my husband had his own business. To cut along story short I booked a termination and on the day I couldn't do it and now I have a lovely happy beautiful son I wouldn't be without him for the world.

[4getmenot]

Oh lil thats lovely

[Compostella]

The last time I looked �40K does not disqualify you from child tax credits

I was told that the threshold was �67K