Soulmate who lets you down

[Dom Tuk]

More than 8 years ago I was let down badly by a friend who i was very close to for many many years. It was a platonic relationship and I think i was in awe that someone so wealthy and beautiful should even talk to me. We had few common friends and she kept her personal life very private and no one knew of her boyfriends etc. Her father let me down very badly over a job offer ( they offered me a job and then withdrew the offer for no reason, I had not even applied for the job) and when i asked for her intervention she refused. Since then she has completely stopped talking to me and it has hurt. I did try to reestablish contact but she would have none of it.  We have had no contact for 8 years now. She has now resurfaced and started communication with another common friend. Should i break the ice. Its a long time now and the way the friendship ended has rankled me all these years. 

[Robinia]

I'll give you the same answer as a trusted friend gave to me when I was in a similar situation.

Tell your 'shared'  friend to say that "Dom says hello, hopes you are well and that it would be nice to catch up sometime"  Pass on a contact number & then leave it all up to her.

In my case, however the 'soulmate' let me down yet again.  Hope you have better luck.

[BUNNY]

I'd say go ahead.Lifes too short to bear grudges.And even if your friendship doesn't develop again at least you might get any bad feeling out of the way.

[andy hughes]

I'd go with Noddy's answer - you get to establish contact, leaving your friend who has behaved badly to make the first move. If she doesn't, through the same embarassment that made her withdraw in the first place, or for some other reason, you may never know why, but your dignity, and your feelings, will not be further damaged. It may be best to leave this alone - you might find the urge to try and sort out your feelings hard to resist, and that means it will either hang over your friendship, or cause a row which will end it, leaving you where you are now, but feeling worse. Have a think and the go with your insticts.

[tigga]

i'd go with bunny's answer, be straight forward, open and honest - come right out with it and ask, yes life is too short and all that !

[ll_billym]

She must have had a reason for acting like she did, even if you don't know it, if she didn't tell you the reason then she wasn't that good a friend in the first place as what she did would hurt anyone.  You will never trust her fully again so it is better that you don't try to force the issue of making contact with her again as it isn't going to bring anything fantastic to your life.  If it happens it happens but get on with the life you have now, you are the decent person in all this so she should be the one building the bridges and if she doesn't want to then you are better off without her.

[KEJ2000]

I vote "no" on re-establishing contact.  I think you will feel better in the long run having kept your dignity by not letting her know that you even still care!  She was not a good friend to you and there are much better out there.  You deserve better than what she did to you, and whatever mean things she might say or do to you in the future, should you try to rekindle the relationship.  I agree that life is too short to hold grudges, but that doesn't mean you have to tell her out loud that she's forgiven.  Just let the grudge go in your own mind, without letting her know about it.  Forget about her and move on, you will be so much happier!!  Don't even give her the power to hurt your feelings; don't give her any power over you-- she is nonexistent now, as far as you're concerened.  Don't waste any of your energy thinking about her.  It will be better "revenge" to let her wonder "whatever happened to" you, and never get the answer to that question, and to let her worry that maybe your life is a thousand times better without her (which it is!).  She doesn't exist, now concentrate on making your own life better by doing things that are fun to you and beneficial to you.