Granparents rights

[kirsty81]

I am currently 6 months pregnant. The father of the child died in January and understandably his parents are struggling to come to terms with this. They blame me for his death and I believe are basically trying to punish me.

At the inquest they quizzed me that much that in the end the judge/coroner asked them to leave me alone as it was not for the court.

Ever since then they have been trying to make my life difficult. Sending people around to the house to do inventories of all his stuff etc. And when they are done accusing me of lying about what is his. The truth is they wont have a clue what is his items as he hadn't spoke to them for years as they severed contact with him.

Currently I am receiving abusive text messages off them, and I am tempted to report them to the police as I am getting to the end of my teather. I dont want to have to go down this route though as it probably wont help the siutation at all.

What I am worried about is my child. What if they try to get access to see her? My parents have told me that I can not stop them from seeing her if they want to. Is this true? I do not want her visiting these people when she is born as they are obviously struggling to cope. It may sound terrible of me but currently I really believe this is for the best.

Is anybody able to advise though?

Thank you

[Psychick]

I strongly advise you to report the abusive text messages to the police even if you take it no further at this stage. That way. if things continue or get worse, the police have a record of your complaint and this can be used against them. As for sending people round, what people? Who are they and do they have the right to access your property without your permission? Surely the only people who can do such a thing are the police, and even they have to have a search warrent.

If things continue or worsen, you can get an injunction out against them preventing them having any contact with you or your baby.

However, being able to be apart of their grandchilds life could make a huge difference to their behaviour towards you and their grief for their son.

If you go to your local Citizens Advice Bureau, they can let you know where you stand legally and get you any other help you may need now or in the future. I daresay you are still grieving the loss of your boyfriend too and could benefit from some grievence counselling.

Good luck with everything and I hope it all works out well in the end.

[daffy654]

There is no such thing as grandparent's rights,you are under no obligation to allow them any access to your child when it is born,if they insist on seeing the child they will have to go to court. The family court judge will then decide whether the child would benefit from visiting the grandparents.............if what you say about them is true then the judge would probably decide that the child would be fine without ever knowing these people.

[Tim123]

Your parents are wrong.

Grandparents have no rights at all in a case like this.

[rutineli]

Perhaps it might be possible to arrange some sort of counseling or arbitration so that you can find out exactly what their problem is and why they feel so antagonistic towards you.
It is true that a child can benefit from loving grandparents but it will not be a benefit if their relationship with you remains unresolved and your child is subjected to cross examination over your personal life by them and has her mind poisoned against you every time she visits them.

There must be some way of sorting out their feelings towards you so that you can grieve together for your lost love and then work as a team to benefit each other and your child. - rutineli