Affairs

[cazandco]

Would you forgive your artner if they had an affair? Can they ever be forgiven?

[sara3]

not in my opinion.. once the trust is gone there's not much left.

and if they're forgiven they probably know they'll be forgiven the next time. and the next...

[tigwig]

no personally I couldn't. I'm not that sort of person, I used to be really jealous with no good reason so the thought of my hubby shagging someone else would tear me apart. I think for the sake of our daughter I could probably forgive a drunken snog in time but nothing more

[leelapops]

Yes I did. No they can't. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship, and it is almost impossible to regain once broken.

[oldgrape]

last time i was cheated on i took him back and tried again but was constantly worried everytime he went out of if he was late back from work so i ended up really paronoid and pushed him away

[cazzz1975]

well you would have to judge each story on its own merit, sometimes there can be reasons that are not apparent. I would certainly struggle to trust them if I had forgiven them which would probably kill the relationship anyway

[frankofile]

What constitues an affair? My husband claims to be an old romantic (I've not seen it) and falls in love easily but wouldn't necessarily shag them. Which is worse? Your other half thinking he is romantically in love or just having a quick shag, which hurts more? appart from the risk of STDs

[ilovemarkb]

I wouldn,t and i didnt! threw him out the night i found out (off his mobile phone) (hee hee!!!!)

[Ice.Maiden]

No - but mine wouldn't dare. I'd take him to the cleaners!

[jno]

I think so. Can't really imagine it happening, tbh, so maybe that colours my view, but sex isn't one of the things that I get too worked up about. I remember my first lover was also having an affair with my best friend and I found - a bit to my surprise, really - that I didn't mind.

[Rtaxron]

I suppose you have to consider why he/she had an affair.

Was it because your love life wasn't going to well, was you to busy with the kids and ignored him in bed?

[mirela]

anyone watched sex and city movie, what do you think about steve's affair?

[chazza]

Personally I couldn't and with regards to sex and the city, I wouldn't have taken him back then either.

Maybe I'm just too hard :(

[sandmaster]

Marriage or partnership is based on trust. You can forgive, but never forget - and the trust will never be there again. If you can - break away.

[Mazb92]

I couldn't forgive if hubby had an affair, it would tear me apart to let go, but i couldn't stay if he strayed

[dustinmyeye]

man no need to watch sex and the city now either now i know the story line !

i think it would depend on the situation really theres a side to every story if it was just a drunken shag then i think thats worse because it means absolutely nothing, risking your marriage/relationship for a meaningless fumble well in my opinion you just dont deserve to be in a relationship.

[andrea81]

I think everyone can make mistakes and it can also be a wakeup call to get the relationship back on track! I know of a few people who cheated, only to regret it and get their marriage on track. Everything is fine now and even better!

Apparently partners having a one off affair is very commen?? Not sure how true it is??

[joannewatson]

My husband recently admitted to an affair (after being practically found out though). We are working through it as we have a little boy and he seems to really regret it. I think everyone deserves one mistake but if it ever happened again that would be it. It depends on the circumstances and the individuals concerned.

[mycats]

Mr Cat and I were talking about this recently and I told him I couldnt forgive him if he did it but not even mainly because of the sex, more because of 1) the lies and intimacy involved but mostly because I have known him since I was 15 and he is the one person in the whole world that I have ever known 100% would never ever hurt me or cheat on me.
So if he ever did it he wouldnt be the person I have always known he was- I would never be able to look at him again.

[karenmac60]

To say if you forgave them would just let them think they could get away with it again isn't always true. I had an affair once and split up with my partner who said he would have forgiven me, but the guilt I felt has ensured I would never ever do that again, it's just not worth it.