cant afford i a family

[JaideyBaby]

i know i am young but me and my fiance really want to start a family. But the thing is, i am in college and only work part time and he is a car valetter with a very low wage and we just cant afford a baby at the moment. we live together and just about manage rent and bills but want to be able to give a child everytrhing it need. its getting me really down, i just want to start a family.

[karmgirl]

And to think I had an abortion because I couldn't afford it. I wish people had told me I could have managed more.

[aims1202]

cazzz1975 - you mean you would only want a baby if it could have brand new expensive things? i doubt very much the baby cares if its expensive, babies need love, affection, smiles and time.

[shaking]

May I suggest you take the very sound advice offered by ETHEL, a much respected AB contributer.

[Aunty Lou]

Pudditat
I am afraid if you were asking me how old I am then I am old!!!! but glad you considered me being a young 'un! and Kiddicare still rocks.

[myselfness]

not what i intended to do... �500 doesnt go exceptionally far through 18 years

and im not on any benefits but i get �500... i do think it depends on the local fund or something like that?

[cazzz1975]

that is my point aims, why does jaidey need to have an expensive pram ect...

[JaideyBaby]

i didnt say i needed to have an expensive pram!!!!!! what i meant in the first place has been taken completely the wrong way!!!!!

[cazzz1975]

sorry jaidey if I have misinterpreted you, all I could glean was that you were all about the stuff rather than the hard work and stress that having a baby entails

[Marijn]

How old are you JaideyBaby?

[redcrx]

Im presuming from a question on other part of site 16, maybe 17. Ive asked on here already

[Marijn]

Are you not telling your age, because you know really it's not a good idea to start a family yet, at your age?
Maybe the people who are advising you to start a family now before it's too late, don't realise how young you are. And you don't want to tell them, because at the moment they are telling you what you want to hear.

[redcrx]

Youre right jaidey, you didnt say you needed an expensive pram.

You said you "want everything to be the best, eg �300-400 prams lol"

Needing something is greatly different to wanting something.

"
we just cant afford a baby at the moment. we live together and just about manage rent and bills but want to be able to give a child everytrhing it need"

with the way bills are increasing, your lack of work once baby arrives and the sudden end of schooling where will money come from to even buy the basics? and dont say benefits, at some point they will stop.

Ethel is right, your hormones are trying to control you, dont let them. Stay at college, get a good job and rethink in a few years.

[sara3]

I think the fact that you're asking such a big question on a website indicates that you are not ready for parenthood.

get a cat. when you have a huge vet bill and have cleaned poop off the carpet a few times.. you'll still be nowhere near knowing what having a child really means.

personally, I'd suggest this is another "greenie" question.

[JaideyBaby]

ok well i think i should just go and speak to people who kno me and can advise me instead of a website like this, sara 3 your right, i came across this website and thought it was a good idea, obviously not! oh and im 16, so you can now all have a go about how young i am!

[Ethel]

I'm not surprised to see you are 16.

As I said, it is your hormones raging. This is how nature ensures we reproduce.

You can be a slave to your hormones or take control of your life. Have fun, get an education, a career, some experience.

Then get settled in your own home with someone you really love then start to plan for a baby.
That is the very best start you can give your babies.

[myselfness]

i have to admit 16 IS rather young. you've got your whole 20's to have kids and be a family, but things like going out with friends, your not old enough to do that and enjoy it.

in reality once a baby is there it doesnt go away and rules over your whole life. But you should do whatever is right for you, and no doubt you will in the end

and Jaidey i really dont think anyone was having a go, they were jsut giving opinions based on experience- which is what you asked for

[aims1202]

sorry cazz!
i thought you were about 18 which is a bit different to 16. i dont think there is anything wrong with having children young, nature actually intends us to have them in our late teens, early twenties and that is when some of us have an overwhelming urge to have children. I was like you and always wanted children, even at your age, but did not really want one until i had fallen in love and i was 20 then. i have to say that i am glad now i had my first child in my early twenties rather than at 16. i still had a lot of partying to do up until then. and i even went travelling at 19. having a child is the most amazing and wonderful thing you will ever do, but the things i did in those years before were amazing too and i have precious memories from that time. you are lucky you have met someone whom you are happy with so make the most of the next 2 or 3 years together, have lots of fun then start thinking about having children.