annemollie - when staying with others, i always take a 'welcome' gift (usually a bottle or food if dinner is involved), tidy up after myself and offer to pitch in while i am there. sadly, many people i have to stay at mine are not so thoughful and i console myself by thinking that at least i don't do that to others....you may just be an old grouch! i have to say, though, that i also think evil thoughts after my untisy and ingracious house guests - but accept that some people are less conscious and house trained than i!!! deep breath...glass of wine...leave it til the morning..!!!