confused emotions

[monkhousebob]

my father left my mother when i was young, cheated with the lady hes now with. anyway weve been ok in recent years but dad has not bothered coming to important occasions in my life and quite regularly forgets birthdays etc, he has a daughtr with this woman and are inviting me to her engagement party, to be honest we arent close but no matter how much i think they werent there for me, id feel rude not going, but is life 2 short to care what people think....i mean i care what close people think but i never got explanations why my dad couldnt make it at my graduation, so why should i care? would u go, send a card or just not bother explaining???

[philandlil]

Send a card, if they invite you to the wedding go to that. Unless you want to have a better relationship with your half sister then go to her engagement.

[daffy654]

I would go to the engagement party,it might be a chance to get to know your 'other' family better.If things aren't going well when you get there you can always make your excuses and say you have an important appointment to attend and leave early.

[Lakitu]

Are you not wanting to go to make a point at your Dad? To be honest, I think the point will be missed. I agree with Daffy, I think you should go and if you're not comfortable, you can leave.

I think that you should consider making a point of requesting you and your Dad sit down and work through your feelings (not at the party). Maybe he's thinking that you're not all that bothered about him and he doesn't attend your celebrattions because he thinks he's intruding, or he's not genuinely wanted there. If he doesn't change after that, then at least you tried.

[orange-gnome]

I had a similar thing with my dad, he left when I was 10 and then we saw him maybe 2-3 times a year. He never sent birthday or christmas cards, never came to anything and then I would go to his parties etc until I decided that I didn't want to, if he didn't care about me then why should I care about him.
We spent about 8 years not talking, he didn't bother to call me -apart from one time when he wanted me to look after his cat while he was on holiday- and I never called him. His 50th birthday came along and my siblings went but not me.
Then last year I got married and thought that it was time to put it all behind us and I invited him. We talk and see each other occasionally and our relationship is an odd one but I feel better knowing that the relationship goes both ways and actually I don't regret not talking to him for all that time. I just felt like he could treat me badly, ignore me and then I would just jump up whenever he wanted until I decided to basically let him know that wasn't the way it was going to work.
I don't know if this is going to help you at all but I hope it just gives you a different perspective.