My single friend

[JockSporran]

He is now in his late 30s and has never had a girlfriend. He has tried dating agencies and even speed dating (and from what I know of speed dating you can't fail). He is very shy. I have tried suggesting all sorts of things to him but still he complains that he can't get a woman.

The problem is this. He says it's something he has to sort out himself - he doesn't want me to arrange a blind date, and yet he keeps moaning to me about how he can't get a girl. What should I do?

[puddicat]

Hi jock he seems very under confident, would he be up for getting hypnotherapy??, they deal with emotional and confidence issues quite successfully!!

[Maypole]

Hmm We've all got a friend like I think.....

Maybe you should leave him be.... around about now female divorcees his age will flood onto the dating scene and he will become a catch - single solvent man with no baggage!!

[sandmaster]

He'll have to sort this out himself. You can try and help by inviting him to parties etc where there are girls but you cannot overcome his shyness for him.

[JockSporran]

It's quite frustrating, actually. He moans and berates to me about how he can't get a girlfriend and I want to help him, but he rejects invitations and practical help. I remember one night we were at a club and they had a 'blind date' event. He put in for it but when his name was called up he actually disappeared. Me and another mate looked for him, but he had actually left the premises. He told me later that nerves had got to him. Should I give up trying to help him? I don't like to do that.

[brenda]

Leave him alone to sort his life out He may just be manipulating you because he knows you care.

Try to steer him in the direction of females but after that let hyim take the initiative.

He may be interested in some sort of volunteer work, at least that will take his mind of his own problems , widen his dimensions and make him a more interesting person.

He seems to be a bit self centered.

[zzxxee]

he needs to build up some self esteem before even contemplateing a relasionship some life coaching maybe, and go to places of interest where women will have the same interests so they have something to talk about to break the ice what is he into?

[wonkon-wonk]

take him to Amsterdam!



if he fails there he is gay and in the nile!

[Scarlett]

Could he be gay and in denial? Maybe he just is confused and hasn't been able to decide where he stands. Have you asked him? Look at Stephen Fry- it took him over 40 years to come out!

[mirela]

my previous housemate and current lodger both around 30s, only had 1 year relationship in their whole life, then been single for years after till now, but they just kept saying that they are signle because of they are fussy, picky!!!but i do can smell the desperation all the time from them...

[JockSporran]

I have actually suggested a trip to Amsterdam, but he is dominated by his mother (even though he left home years ago) and is worried about what she would think (even if she's not there).

I have put him on to sites where there are single 30something women, but he calls them 'ugly housewives' (even though some of them are quite stunning). He says he wants a young hot chick that he can show off. I try to tell him to get a life partner, a soulmate, not some trophy to show off.

I have actually sometimes wondered if he is gay, but he denies it. He does show interest in women, certainly, but he can't handle them. He is sexist and self-centred.

[echokilo]

If thats the case.... let him get on with it!!!!! Doesn't seem that he is helping himself at all.

[sandmaster]

I think you have answered your own question Jock. He desires a knock out beauty, someone out of his league and he knows that he is not going to get someone like that, and if he did he would be scared. All the other girls are 'not good enough' for him. Leave him to it if he is so picky. I know it is hard as he is a mate but he obviously has some issues he needs to sort out himself.