a married man

[MiniN]

my friend has started to see a married man. he says he loves her and has intentions of leaving his wife for her(not sure whether this will happen, i only have her word on the situation). I dont think they have had sex and she says she doesnt want to until he is single.

so i was wondering if anyone here has been involved with a married person and what happened?

[ceejn]

They stayed married

[pmorris1961]

But inapickle, some married men do leave their wives dont they ?? surely they must do or there wouldnt be so many divorces .........

If you go out with a married man, then i think its important to have no expectation that the man will tell the truth, as he has already proved that he is capable of lying to those women he purportedly loves.............. and even if he leaves his wife then when you become that new wife, how do you know that that wont happen to you too !!!

[monkeyeyes]

Any man who marries his mistress immediately creates a vacancy in that position...............and usually sets about finding someone to fill it once the 'gloss of the new' starts to wear off.

[pastafreak]

I knew him for around 18 months....he was only a friend in my eyes. I Used to chat to him when i was out walking the dog. In fact-I was worried that he might get the wrong impression if we constantly were bumping into each other. I often deliberately avoided going out when I knew he would be around. This went on for a while...there were times I didn't see him for weeks as his work schedule was subject to changes. But after one of these periods of not seeing him...well-I started to panic at the thought of never seeing him again...I tried to ignore this but it took over all my thoughts. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks...I had fallen in love with him both mentally,physically and emotionally. I think something had happened to him also as we both almost blurted (in a rather tentative way) that our feelings had changed dramatically. Over the next 4-5 months we made plans to leave our spouses and move in together. We did live together.......but about 3 months in he just left one day...he said something was not "right"....this was a man who had been with the same woman for 35 years...and I don't think the change was easy. We got back together...but he had a lot of demands put on him by both his daughter and wife and he eventually went back. In retrospect i know i was selfish......love DOES make you blind. I regret any pain I may have caused...and there was a lot,even tho I never set out to take something that was not mine. I don't regret the time we spent together....it is the only time I have felt trully loved..........my husband of 23 years had NEVER once in that time ever told me he loved me. With this man I felt it every day. So I at least have that to keep with me

[Myriad2112]

God, War and Peace or what?

[pastafreak]

Mini wanted to know...so I told her ;-)

[Le Chat]

A woman who gets involved with a married man should always wear waterproof mascara.......

[Le Chat]

Married men do leave their wives but I think it is much less common than wives leaving their husbands. I don't have any statistical proof of this but out of my social group and people I have heard of it seems to be the case.
Your friend is emotionally walking on a tightrope and should bail out before her heart gets broken.

[MiniN]

thanks for everyones opinions, advice and experiences. I will let her know what you guys have said here....I just want her to be happy as she has had a rough time of it lately....i hope she finds it.

[Bbbananas]

He was married... She was married...
They left their respective spouses and got together...
They got married....
It lasted 13 years... They separated...But they are not divorced and they still love each other,,, but can't live together...
Go figure.
Life is strange.

[pips1]

I think Myriad was most rude to pasta (who responded in a mature way I have to say) as MiniN had asked us for opinions. I feel sorry for pasta as it was obvious she had tried to avoid pain. Unlike the two bit**ches who took my husband knowing he was married. Yes, it happened to me twice as I took him back in between - you live and learn!! I would never say to anyone NOT to give a second chance as sometimes it does work out (in my case it was 5 years we were back together until it happened again with someone else) but for now I'm happier alone.

[peanut273]

ok. well truthfully ur friend should get out. FIRSTLY, he's married. Which I guess will always be messy & people will get hurt but SECONDLY he's married and still playing away, who's to say IF he does leave his wife he would be fully content with what he's got? Could your friend really trust him if she was going with him and maybe in the future they married??hmm..I dont think so!

Tell ur friend to try looking for a nice guy! :)

[razmataz]

How long has your friend been with the married man?

[kellogs100]

Yikes. I've seen a lot of this. Only in very rare cases does the man ever leave his wife. At best she will find out what a cheating rat he is but even then I'd bet they'd try to work it out. Unfortunatly it will probably cause a lot of heart ache for your friend and is it ever ok to cause that kind of pain to anyone else such as his wife. IMHO women should be sticking together, not doing this to each other.

[MiniN]

just to update everyone on the situation.....my friends has called it off with the married guy....they'd only been seeing each other for like a month or so.

i told her the situation would only lead to heartache for her