school poem

[paulz]

at primary school [too long ago] we had to learn a poem for prize day. Bizarrely I can only remember it was about a boy called John, and the last line was 'His Aunt, His Honour & His sponge!' Any ideas it's really bugging me, trying to encourage daughter with her rhymes & homework thought this'd be a good idea. Ta ;+)

[Hippy]

Broad is the gate and wide the path
That leads man to his daily bath;
But ere you spend the shining hour
With sponge and spray, with sluice and show'r,
With all that teaches you to dread
The bath as little as your bed;
Remember, whosoe'er you be
To shut the door and turn the key.

I had a friend a friend no more;
Who failed to bolt the bathroom door.

A maiden aunt of his, one day,
Walked in as half submerged he lay,
But did not notice nephew John
And turned the boiling water on!

He had no time, or even scope,
To camouflage himself with scope,
But gave a yell, and flung aside
The sponge 'neath which he sought to hide;
It fell to earth I know not where.
He beat his breast in deep despair,
And then, like Venus from the foam,
Sprang into view and made for home.

His aunt fell fainting to the ground.
Alas! They never brought her round.

She died intestate in her prime,
The victim of another's crime,
And John can never quite forget
How, by a breach of etiquette,
He lost at one fell swoop (or plunge)
His aunt, his honour and his sponge.

Harry Graham

[paulz]

Blimey Hippy that's blimmin' fast mate. Well done, it's all coming flooding back now. Thanks again ;+D)

[answerbok]

Cor, what sort of primary school did you go to paulz? not Catholic anyway :-)

[paulz]

answerbok - I guess looking back [it was nearly thirty years ago, hey who am I kidding it was nearer to 40], it was pretty progressive for it's time. I know all the parents enjoyed it ;+))

[globijii]

Paulz. We have in our family, had many a laugh reciting this poem. I haven't heard it for a few years and was looking for it in Google so I could rekindle the pleasure aand send it out to the family and friends who have children. regards, Bill

[paulz]

globijii - Don't know if you'll see this reply, I know when we performed it at school we did the actions [we'll some of them!] The best bit was the last line when we were allowed to fling sponges anywhere - sadly they weren't wet!! Thanks again

[chrisfourfal]

I have the 1920s book that this was in, and notice a few wrong words in the version posted above (in particular the important soap is missing!).

Here's my book's version:

Broad is the Gate and wide the Path
That leads man to his daily bath;
But ere you spend the shining hour
With sponge and spray, with sluice and show'r -
With all that teaches you to dread
The bath as little as your bed -
Remember, wheresoe'er you be
To shut the door and turn the key !

I had a friend - my friend no more ! -
Who failed to bolt his bathroom door ;
A maiden aunt of his, one day,
Walked in, as half submerged he lay !
She did not notice nephew John,
And turned the boiling water on !

He had no time, or even scope,
To camouflage himself with soap,
But gave a yell, and flung aside
The sponge 'neath which he sought to hide !

It fell to earth I know not where !
He beat his breast in his despair,
And then, like Venus from the foam,
Sprang into view, and made for home !

His aunt fell fainting to the ground !
Alas! they never brought her round !
She died intestate in her prime,
The victim of another's crime;

And John can never quite forget
How, by a breach of etiquette,
He lost, at one fell swoop (or plunge)
His aunt, his honour and his sponge !