Down By Love

[Lov3shy]

I've fallen in love with a guy and people know that I'm bi. I'm glad people know that I'm bi BUT people know who I have a crush on - the guy (that I have a crush on) doesn't know I'm bi (and that I have a crush on him) to which makes me worry about others telling him - I fear that he'll be scared to even want to be around me in any case, and that building friendship would be very difficult.

I don't know the guy enough to have a romantic relationship with him and I really would love to know him more, but unfortunately I don't know where he hangs around and I seldom see him. When I do see him (always with his friends), we just smile and say hi - that's it. I would love to have a relationship with him, but I know I'm not ready, it's obvious that he's not ready (because he doesn't know), and I don't even know if he's gay, straight, or bi.

I don't have the guy's contact details and I only see him in school.

I can't stop thinking about him and my heart thuds suddenly when I see him or even think about him. What do I do?

I could go on forever with things to say, but I'll leave it there.

[Schutzengel]

First point, you are still in school, so obviously quite young, and probably not too sure yet of your own orientation. You do sound pretty confused. Better to take things easy, and wait to see if a friendship develops. No need to go into details of what you are or are not, at this stage.

[Lov3shy]

Last year of school

I've tried taking things easy but the results have been negligible

[Maypole]

Hi Lov3shy
Not really sure what the problem is here beyond the fact that you have a crush on a boy you dont know!
Your sexuality outside of having a crush on him is all a bit irrelevant at this stage. If you fancy him then youre going to have to find a way to get to know him arent you?!! Thats the first bridge to be crossed, forget about the rest. You are going to have to talk to him at some stage.
So ideas on that......hmmm. Is there a common meeting place like a cafe or library where you can both be? Do you take any classes together? A party you're both invited to? A bus stop you both wait at?

[Lov3shy]

We know who each other are, it's just that we hardly talk

That's the problem though, getting to know him. I hardly see him and even when I do, he's gone the next second.

We're not in any classes together and the only times I'd get to see him would be lunch time (break is too short and I never see him)

That's the problem, not being able to see him - I know that I'll have to build confidence to just go to him and talk, but even so, that's difficult because I see him once a week (sometimes not even that).

And I don't want to go out with him, I just have a crush on him; I don't fancy him.

[Schutzengel]

Do you have any idea what you do what. You say you don't want to go out with him. You don't fancy him either. It seems like a non-starter. So perhaps you'd best forget it.

[pastafreak]

Mmmmmm...how can you say you have fallen in love with him,yet you neither fancy him,nor do you want to go out with him.If you WERE in love with him,you would want all those and more.And a crush is the tip of the iceberg compared to what love is. Maybe you should JUST concentrate on getting to know him....if you then still do not want to go out together-then you can safely say that you are not actually in love...nor have you been.

[Lov3shy]

I didn't phrase it right - I would love to go out with him and all that, just at the moment, it's obviously not a priority - not something I'm going to instantly do.

I never said that I don't love him, because I do; I really do, it's that I don't want to rush into unnecessary decisions at this moment in time.

To have a crush on someone is to have feelings for someone but maybe not want to take it into a relationship. I suppose I'm mixed with that because I love him but I don't want to go too far yet.

[pastafreak]

Mmmmmm...I am not sure that you can REALLY call it love if you have barely spoken to the guy......that can only come with time. Just the fact that you seem so unwilling to pursue it means you have not really clarified it in your own head.

[Lov3shy]

I suppose not

Becoming friends will definitely be a priority at this case, it will be difficult in many ways, but I'm sure something will be achieved

Thanks for you help guys

[QueenOfAmber]

I see what you mean when you say your in love but (sadly) it's kind of not love but a crush...
Because you said that you barely knew him and when you do see him it's with friends, that doesn't sound kind of like a relationship of any does it?
If you want some advice try to forget him. If you can't then you know it might be something more...
Okay? :)
Bye!
x