Feeling antisocial

[lovefoolb4u]

Hello everyone,

I've just started to feel like an anti-social freak. I've been looking at pictures on FB of so many people I know out at parties and drinking and socialising, and not only am I not invited but I just feel like it's not the sort of thing I'd be interested in.

So many people seem to meet their boyfriends/girlfriends at parties like that, like my friend who's going out with a girl that he got off with at a house party, and I'm worried that people won't like me because that's not my scene.

I suppose that's my real concern - what if I can't make good friends with people because I'm not a party animal?

:-(

[Sammy Snake]

Don't beat yourself up about it - plenty of people aren't party animals and still manage to make friends and enjoy life.

How old are you?

[lovefoolb4u]

18. I'm at uni.

Thanks. I think I'm just not happy with the way I've turned out in terms of night-life etc. I hate the thought of needing alcohol to make friends, but I still feel like a freak for it!

[lovefoolb4u]

Thanks.

Yeah, I'm in halls and have nice flatmates and I am friends with 2 of them, both girls, and we go out quite often but I barely ever go out with the people on my course.

I have friends on the course who I hang around with during the day but it sometiems feels like one of those things where you only hang around with each other because you're thrown in together. I don't meet up with anyone really at all outside of lectures etc. and like I said don't really get invites to parties.

Social situations are really startling me at the moment, and have done since I moved to uni.

[lovefoolb4u]

With people, or alone?

If you mean with people, then probably going for walks and a chat, going for a meal or a coffee. Sad, I know!

[sam100]

Can never quite work out why some people feel the need to display their whole life on FB. To me i think it just looks sad when you see someone who seems to be permanently taking pictures of themselves. So i wouldnt worry about the FB element of it.

On the socila side of things perhaps you could see if teher are any social groups run by people at your uni doing things during evenings that might interest you. if not why not think about organising something yourself?- i'm sure there's lots of people in a similar situation.

I'm a bit similar myself but a few years older that you. i've never been one for the whole nightclub/pub scene. But would much prefer doing something like theatre/movies/meals out/coffee/concert than getting wasted for the sake of it.

Its not set in stone that uni involves being plastered all the time so dont feel that you have to conform to stereotype! :)

[SupaAbzyBall]

Hi mate,

Just thought I'd let you know that drinking alcohol doesnt always mean you should get drunk! I used to have a few then switch to the coke and water.

Once piece of advice I would give is that you should never reject an invite. Rejecting an invite means that you wont be invited again! If you do reject say something like 'sorry i cant come, thanks for the invite'.

Also why not create your own event? Invite your coursemates out for an after exam party/drinks/dinner/coffee/dinner party etc.

[EmEd1984]

don't worry, half the time people i know only take their cameras out so they can pose for photos they only intend to put on facebook. some people want you to think they're popular and fun loving and 'oo i'm mad me'. just be yourself, don't force yourself to do what you don't feel comfortable doing. it's not sad at all that you prefer walks and nice meals etc, it's mature! good on you, anyway.

[angel21]

I'm 21 and like you I have never been into the nigtclub scene. Lost contact with most of my school friends because I never used to go out with them to the clubs.

This year I am trying to look at ways I can meet new people by finding things I enjoy doing. I tried a young walkers group (which turned out to be not so many young people and wasn't really my thing) but if you thave a look for a few clubs and stuff or join a fitness classs whatvever you enjoy doing and then you will meet likeminded people.

I have applied for a few voluntary things too which you could also try. Have a look at this website www.do-it.org.uk/

Good luck!

[trish432]

I`m sixty, but I really think it`s pointless joining in with something just because you think it`s the thing to do. You won`t enjoy it.
Just have a social life with the people who have the same interests as you.
I really do know what you mean, I have acquaintances, who would be friends, but they`re the same age as me and drink far too much and act as if they are still teenagers.
I can`t really get on their wave length, although sometimes I feel as if Im missing out, but it would be false and it would show.

[SizzleSquid]

you so have the same problem as me! but you know what? you'll make friends with people in other ways-through uni, definately through all the different jobs you are going to have and from life in general. ive never met friends in nightclubs, and anyway-most people you'll meet in nightclubs will be too drunk to remember the night before and chances are you wont hear from them anyway.you can still go to parties-just do what i do if its someones birthday or something, i show my face for an hour, have a soft drink, chat to some friends or whoever i know then go. if any one complains i just say ive got things to do tomorow. i never go out now-not much anyway. i see my friends in the evenings-i go round to theirs or they come round and see me. have you tried going to places where youd might like? maybe somewhere that does play music but is a bit more low key and if you like it arrange a day where you can invite somefriends.
dont be fooled by FB pics-the pics look fun and great as they are a snapshot in time and people are posing but generally theyll be having a regular night out. maybe try and go out just the once-if some people you know are going out ask jokingly if your invited and im sure theyd say yes-lf you dont like it say you have to go-but at least give it a try. its not the be all and end all x