is he still wanting his ex?

[loves-it]

hi all, my burning question is this... me and my guy have a fab relationship... only i get this feeling deep in the pit of my tummy that he still loves his ex wife, he still has his wedding ring, and they have been split up for 5 yrs, he says things a in convo about her/him, and then says i take it out of context, that what he was saying about them relates to a convo we were having, the other day a song came on and he had this far away look in his eyes and looked kinda sad, i know it seems daft but i think im going to go out of my mind thinking am i just a distraction? all answers appreciated x

[gossipgirl]

i get the impression that hes not over her if he still wearing his wedding ring after being split up for 5 years, secondly its an insult to you to continue wearing whilst in a relationship with you. does he know that this hurts you?

[Bbbananas]

I think you meant he still possesses his wedding ring rather than still wears it? I still possess my wedding ring, but took it off the day my husband moved out.

I think this man loves you, but there are bound to be times a memory is sparked & she comes up in conversation. I still often mention my ex & one particular song always makes me cry to this day - but I am with someone else now & I don't want my husband back & never will.

I think you should stop worrying. He wouldn't be human if he didn't have some nostalgia within him - and would you want him to be the sort of man who hates his ex anyway?

[ummmm]

I often call my BF by my ex's name. That doesn't mean I'm pining for my ex and my BF knows that. He just laughs.

[Bbbananas]

I do that ummm! But I spent 14 years with the chap so that is sort of understandable - esp. when my first husband who I was with for 12 years also had the same name!

[gossipgirl]

sorry if you meant that he just has his wedding ring and not wears it then i really would not worry about that, ive still got my engagement ring. Not because i still love my ex but because it is a beautiful ring and would like to pass it on to my son to give to his girlfriend as it was given to me by his father.

[lil75]

I still have an engagement ring from my ex, but I dont think of it in that way, its just a nice ring and matches well with a bracelet ive got! We have both moved on, im with someone else and so is he. When your fella makes references to his past, youhave to bear in mind, that that was his life, for probably a lot of years, and he will talk about it from time to time, we all do! You sound really insecure, ive been there n done that, and it just makes you feel inadequate and bad...NOT GOOD! He is obviously with you because he wants to be, you just need to accept the fact x

[loves-it]

thank you everyone, actually no i'm not a very insecure person, my late husband was ( in his previous years) was a bit of a ladies man, and it never bothered me, and again of course ex's come up in convo, you can't just erase your past, but it just unsettled me a little bit when he told me he wouldnt know how he would react if he saw her again, and if she was with somone else he would be hurt, but then he said he wouldn't know how he would react i just feel like its unfinished business, she left him after nealry 15 yrs and he wasn't ready to let go his words not mine, im not an insecure person, the past is the past is how i like to see things, but i just don't know with this one, its not just a one of with the nostalgic songs either, and he keeps the ring only, not wears it, many thanks again for answers

[Schutzengel]

Loves-it, your partner was rejected, and rejection is one of the hardest things to recover from. There's always a tendency for things such as songs etc., to remind the person of the times when they were happy, and this still stirs up the feeling of rejection, and the wondering why they were rejected. Men take rejection much harder than women. Women in the same situation do think back, but generally don't dwell on it, and are better at hiding their feelings. Wondering how one would feel if by chance the rejected person met/saw their previous partner with a new partner, is quite natural, and it would undoubtedly feel strange when the previous relationship had been a long standing one. I wouldn't worry too much about it, your partner is with you because he wants to be, and a least he is being honest and speaking openly about his feelings which is quite rare in a man. He sounds to be quite sensitive, and was badly hurt. It will pass, but sometimes it can take a long time. A good idea would be to concentrate on making a good life for the two of you, to ensure that your partner feels secure in your relationship. Best wishes for your future together.