Tip of the day . . .

[DebsyDoo]

Mornin' all ! Just for a laugh - Why don't we have a "tip of the day thread" ? "Tips" can be daft, useful, funny or serious . . . Let's see what comes up !!

[mrs.chappie]

On no occasion answer the telephone while you are ironing.

[mrs.chappie]

Have your neighbours annoyed you?

Get revenge by buying a telly exactly the same as theirs. Then stand outside their window, using the remote control to continually turn the channels over and over.

Or keep switching it on and off.

[DebsyDoo]

Is that it from the morning crew then ?

Let's see if we can kick start the afternoon brigade into action . . .

Don't eat BEANZ before going diving -

You won't sink !!!

[DebsyDoo]

What ? No (par)takers from the afternoon brigade ??

I've wallpapered half a room since !!

So, I'll leave you with this final one . . .

Always wash your tools when you've finished !! (?)

[no-knowledge]

FAO JJ

An empty aluminium steradent tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.

[DebsyDoo]

Well, I think the morning crew won that round then !

[craft1948]

This has got to be the funniest thread I have ever read - well done DebsyDoo....................PMSL

[DebsyDoo]

I thank you kindly Craft !!!!

And that - I think - is how CB should be - FUN !

I'm hoping it's not done yet, after a bit of an afternoon "void"
(Perhaps, if I'd turned up the volume on my laptop . . . ?)

I shall announce the winner later !

[KingChain]

Do you ever ask yourself why did I get out of bed today? Is this all there is to life? And where the hack I left my car keys?

Don't despair; it's not too late to turn your life around! Well, unless you are really old (like 30); in that case I suggest alcohol. If you are still a useful member society (under 30), I gathered some life tips that without a doubt change your life in such a deep and profound way, you won't even notice!

So with all that said and down, now it's time to seat down, lean back, open your mind, scratch your tummy, cluck like a chicken and read this pearls of wisdom:

1. Every morning smile to your mirror, but why stop there? Smile to your kitchen table, to your living room sofa and to your iron board. Beware, don't smile to your dishwasher it may take it as provocation.

2. Always put your smile on. People will assume you are a crazy person and won't mess with you.

3. Be kind to others, send me money.

4. Live every day like it is your last.Crawl into a corner and cry.

5. Live every day to the fullest. When going to the bathroom take a newspaper!

6. Drinking is not a solution, unless we are talking about alcohol.

7. Better to give, than to receive (true only on case of infections).

8. Clothes don't make the man, but being naked will get you arrested.

9. Don't put all your eggs in one basket, put all of then in the fridge they will last longer.

10. Remember everybody makes mistakes, and you will have the opportunity to laugh on them.

11. Always follow your dreams; just be sure to check that Pamela Anderson is also on board.

12. Give a man a fish and he might take it the wrong way...

13. Honesty is the best policy, at least that what Pamela always telling me.

14. Time is money. Stop reading stupid articles!

[mrs.chappie]

If you have a busy day planned for tomorrow, save time by having your breakfast before you go to bed.

[DebsyDoo]

Well, here - as promised are the results from my "Tip of the day" posting . . .

In 3rd place - it's a tie

Ummm & Dungeon Jayne (Joggin' along) with 11* ea

In 2nd -

It's Mrs Chappie with 12*'s

And the winner is . . .

No-Know with 18* !!!!!

(APPLAUSE)

My award for the most amusing though, goes to Mrs C for her TV remote tip !! Special x for you !

And I leave you with one to consider . . .

When you wake up in the middle of the night bustin' for a pee . . .

You rush in the bathroom, not bothering with the light . . . sit down with a sigh of relief -

CHECK THE LID's NOT DOWN !!!!!!

(No, my dopey daughter - not me !)