Morality

[Iadagor]

My best friend has a boyfriend who I know she can do better than. But she likes him, he likes her, whatever. She recently told me that she plans to go with him tomorrow and wants to have sex. I know her parents would NEVER let her do that, I am really against it. I really think that the only reason she's doing it is to be a rebel. She'll regret it later, I know she will because I know her. My question is: How can I stop her? She's my best friend and I would really love to keep our friendship as much intact as possible, but I just don't know what to do with her. Any suggestions?

[jno]

You can't. Could she stop you doing something you wanted to do? Tell her what you think - just once - then let it rest. If it all goes horribly wrong, be there to give her a shoulder to cry on, that's what friends are for, but don't say 'I told you so'. If it all goes right, you'll get a wedding invitation.

(I'm assuming here you're the same sex and more or less of age - if not, other issues arise.)

[orange-gnome]

I was in a situation just like your best friend when I was younger and the best advice I can give you is stay out of it! Just let her know how you feel once and just say that if she is happy then you are too. The more you interfere and tell her she shouldn't be doing this then the more you will push her away, trust me I did it!! I had a bf who nobody liked and I ended up losing my virginity to him and staying with him for 3 years!! I shut out all my friends and family because they all tried to get me to leave him! Funny thing is, if they had just left me to it I would have not stayed with him for nearly as long as I did, I felt like I had to prove a point!!
So the answer to your question is you can't stop her! If she wants to have sex with him then she will, its her life she has to make her own decisions. However like I said I think you can tell her you are concerned about this but also tell her that you will be there for her whatever she decides to do!
I don't regret having sex with my ex in the least but I do in a way regret wasting so many years with him.

[orange-gnome]

lol, sorry jno, crossed posts! : )

[Scarlett]

You can't stop her but you can make sure she doesn't get up the duff. Give her some condoms.

[Morrisonker]

I know it's hard when there's suddenly a man on the scene when it's just been the two of you for ages, but it's her life.  You have no right trying to stop her having sex.  Of course her parents wouldn't let her do it, do you think most people go and get their permission before hopping into bed?  No.  This is her decision, not yours.  If you don't like the guy in question, that's your problem.  If you're scared you're going to lose your friend, either take to her about it or get over it.  I hate to sound harsh but if her having sex is going to cuase problems in your friendship, you can't be very good friends.  You sound quite young, rest assured in a few years time you'll be doing it yourself.  Think how you'd feel if a friend dropped you because of a private decision you made which in no way affected them.  You can't control anyone, people are always going to do things you don't agree with.

[mystress]

You don't say what age you or your best friend are.

I would say you cannot do anything,and IF you want to keep your friendship intact,then I am afraid you will have to mind your own business,sorry!

[Trees]

Tell her how you feel then butt out!!. It's her life, her mistakes. Be there if she needs you.
xxx

[ursula62]

If your friend is under 16 make sure she gets advice from her GP. Under age sex is illegal, but if you see a Doctor for contraception he or she is duty bound not to tell your parents without your consent.

As far as the advice from everyone else is concerned, they're right. All you can do is be a friend and be there for her whether or not things go as she planned them to. If you say too much now you risk losing her friendship.

You could try asking yourself what she would do if the situation was reversed, it might help!

[kazzee69]

I don't think you can or should stop her. People need to learn from their own mistakes and its her life not yours. If this is what she wants to do then whats wrong with it? All you can do is let her know you are there for her if anything goes wrong. Be a friend. Is there more to this? Why don't you want her to sleep with this guy? Are you jealous? Do you fancy him at all?

[Iadagor]

Thanks all so much for your input.
mystress adn ursula62, she's 15 and he's 17.
kazzee69, I don't like him AT ALL, he does drugs, he smokes, etc. etc.