heartache at work

[bowannabow]

We still work in the same office, we split up.  It was his decision. I try to act normal and am pleasant to him but he virtually blanks me and seems so uncaring.

It makes work life and associated work social events very tricky. I want to move on but don;t want to change jobs.  Any advice very welcome.

[floss85]

Hi Bowannabow,

This happend to me at Christmas! I agree it isn't pleasant. I split with him but decided it was the wrong decision, but by this time he had met someone else. It was very difficult. Our work is very closely involved and it was unaviodable not to talk. He made it very awkward, not just for me but for everyone in our office.

It is only now that we are beginning to be friendly with eachother. I suggest that you blank him back. It hurt me so much to do this and even though it sounds childish. It might give you the space you need to move.

Dont change your job!!! In a few months everything will be better! If you do leave you still wont forget about him. I know it is hard seeing him everyday but it will get better!

Floss xxx

[bowannabow]

Thanks Floss

Wise words. I am going to stick it out.  I figure its his problem if he's going to be immature about how we relate to each other now.

and you're right - if we were talking lots, being mates I would probably find it harder to move on as would always be hoping we would get back together....Just hope i can get through our summer social which is coming up - a whole day out with him there, with the drink flowing is something i currently dread.

good luck to you and thanks again

[hannahjo]

Spit in his tea. Although it won't resolve the situation it might make you feel better!!!

[mullein 3]

just ignore him change your image and keep a smile on your face..if he is to ignorant to even speak well dont speak to him either..or mention the situation to others in case it filters back to him..just tell your self hes invisible and you are best off without him ..just do your work and think some other poor woman will end up with him..at least its not you..dont change your job yet it will look like you are running away..and that will boost his ego and you dont want that to happen..if he seems uncaring make sure you project that image also..show no pity or mercy..

[Scarlett]

I would have a chat with him. Say you have to work together, and while you realise nothing is ever going to happen netween you, there is no reason for him to be rude and distant. Tell him you are over it and fine with his decision, so can he please grow up a bit and start treating you the same as the others in the office.

If it was me, I would prove this by going out with other people (not in the office). When he really believes you  have no ulterior motive he will maybe start being friendly again.