Help! Is my mum being too harsh???

[sochi]

I am 14 and have recently tried about 5-10 cigarettes, my mum found out about this because she found an empty cigarette box in my draw. she says im at least grounded until im 15 which is in the middle of january!! To me that is going too far and all we ever do is argue about it and fall out. she isnt a good role model to me as she smokes 40 a day and started smoking from the age of 15. I had already learned my lesson about smoking before she found the box in my draw and seems to think the longer i am grounded, the more i will learn!!!??? If they are any parents out there to help me or just tell me what they would do in this situation please tell. Thank you very much,

[sochi]

yea i am grounded but i have told my mum that im sleepin over at a frends house for the night and she dont mind.

[secretspirit]

She'll never keep it up until January. All teenagers experiment with smoking, I know I did and I didn't go on to be a smoker although my Dad's been smoking for 40 years. I'd just tell her you've learned your lesson and that you realise she's reacted the way she has because she cares about you and doesn't want you to be addicted like her.

[Lindy Loo]

I think what Robin11 meant was if you're going to get grounded, do something worth getting grounded for, like steal a car!! Mind you, if you get 3 months for smoking, I dread to think what you'd get for that one!!!

[zgma]

Hi Sochi - you're not being stupid... most teens are curious about the stuff that's forbidden. The problem is that it's forbidden for a reason - it's not good for people in general, and especially for young people who are still developing - but the fact that it's forbidden makes it SO tempting. So all of this is just advice from people who have some experience... you can take it or leave it. I will let you know my experience as relates to this stuff. In my household growing up, smoking was a BIG no-no, but alcohol was no big deal (Jewish culture - fairly relaxed about alcohol, and my parents would let us have wine at religious holidays, and give us tastes from their glasses of wine). So, with that contrast - what happened to me? I was totally drawn to smoking cigarettes and couldn't care less about drinking. It just was boring, because my parents didn't disapprove. Not to say that I don't drink now - I have occasional drinks. But I never had the binge drinking that I saw in my high school friends and first year of college. I had no interest in getting drunk for its own sake. All that is to say that the attraction to smoking for me was the fact that it was forbidden. Things that our parents are against are very appealing. Just something to think about - I know you said you don't want to smoke now. I wish I had realized this earlier because I never would have become a smoker.

[sochi]

zgma i get wot u mean about the drinking, my mum lets me have the occaisonal(soz cant spell) glass of wine or sumthin like that cos she feels if i have smalll amounts now then when i turn 18 i wont go down to the pub every night and get drunk cos i wont be such a big new thing lol.

[Scarlett]

Your Mum is only trying whatever desperate measures she can to make her point about how dangerous smoking is. She doesn't want you to make the same mistake as her. You are her baby and she doesn't want you to die of cancer before your time. By grounding you, she thinks she is making her point. It may be harsh, but she really is only doing it because she cares about you.

[georgit79]

Robin11 is being what's called ironic. Try stuff if you want, just be careful. You're at a very impressionable age, and smoking weed at parties should not be something you're doing regularly. In fact, not at all!

[origina;]

look to b honest m8 ur bein taken 4 a mug if i were u den da next time she goes skit u should tell ere straight and fuk off out...give it a thew dayz den she will b wanting u back and smoke till ur hearst content