sister's blues

[monodge]

my older sister got dumped, by her boyfriend of 4 yrs, 3 months ago. she is really down in herself as she is in her mid-thirties and obviously thought that he was "the one". she never had a serious relationship before him. she still spontaneously bursts into tears and its really upsetting me seeing her like that.does anyone have any suggestions as to how to cheer her up ?anti-depressants?another man?!thanks. 

[nuoyg]

I guess after 4 years, 3 months on is still quite 'new'.  Was it a horrible break up?  Was she expecting it?  I guess just be there for her and do as many things as you can that gets her out.  Does she have a wide circle of friends?  Just try and keep her busy to show her she can have a good time without ex...

[monodge]

the split was COMPLETELY out of the blue.she didnt see it coming at all.she does have a wide circle of friends and they have all been really good to her. she has gone on holidays since and really enjoyed herself but coming back just made it all come back again.its a crap situation as she ( i think) is still hoping to get back with him as she thinks that he is going through a depressed phase himself as his mother died at Christmas.the rest of the family think hes an absolute *******.especially me so i find it hard to sympathise with her.....

[Englishbird]

woah! you're not my sister are you! lol I had almost exactly the same thing, but a bit longer ago. 

2 things .....

1) If you're asking what would make her feel better it would be along the lines of ... time, attention from other men, realising that you're life is not over if your boyfriend dumps you in your 30's (this one comes with time!!) other options - going abroad? changing jobs? doing something you would never have done whilst in the relationship.

2) If you're asking how you can help her ... you already are.  She needs to know she can go on and on about it when she needs, even if it's boring you to tears, and try not to slag him off, even tho it's hard - My ex was not a nice man, but when others put him down, I felt i had to defend him, even if i didn't want to.  if she goes back with him - then so be it, all you want is for her to be happy - If he's not right for her, then I can assure you it wont last, and she's (like me) lucky enough to have friends and family that will pick up the pieces (again).

She'll be ok.  She needs to start remembering all the things in the relationship that weren't all that great anyway.  It can be hard to admit this to someone else though.

Good luck - to both of you x

[monodge]

Thanks English bird!will try to listen to how wonderful he was even though.....ahem...!anyway, thanks