could he be autistic?

[lotsafun]

hi everyone, this is a long story but i will try and keep it short but basically im beginning to think that there may be something ''wrong'' with my son (i hate to say the word wrong, but i cant think of anything else to describe it). My son is 9 years old and has always had problems with reading and writing, he really struggles with these subjects despite having additional 1to1 help with these all his school life, he takes it very personally and lashes out, gets very upset and cries about it, he's even hit himself over it before now out of frustration which as you can imagine is heartbreaking to see. H e often refers to himself being the ''dullest'' in the class even though he excells at maths, science, history and R.E. He had delayed speech when he was a toddler and underwent speech therepy, he has a issue with soiling his pants despite us having ''therepy'' for that too, we just go round and round in circles and dont seem to be getting anywhere with it. Even though soiling his pants should be concidered the worse its not, its his whole attitude to it thats the most worrying, he has no shame in it and will sit in his mess all day out with his friends around. When we try to talk to hm about this he shows no emotion, he does not make eye contact with us ever when confronting him about anything, even if it just a simple question such as 'what would you like for tea?'. He will never look you in the eye for more than 2 seconds at a time. He has a repetitive habit of pulling his privates when being spoken too, i dont think hes aware hes doing this as his step father and i ofetn have to tell him to stop what hes doing. He gets totally engrossed in his video games to the point that he does not hear a single person around him, i could be sitting next to him and he wouldnt aknowledge that i was even there.

[lotsafun]

cont............ yesterday whilst pegging the washing out my 2 year old fell off the arm of the chair, i heard the thud and her cries from the top of garden so ran back in but was concerened to see that my son, who was sat on the very same chair she fell off hadnt flinched, he hadnt taken his eye off his ds, i asked him why didnt he pick her up to comfort her whilst i was running down steps etc and he simply said he didnt realise that she fell!!!!!!! I have had concerns over my sons behaviour before but was simply dismissed saying that all kids go through it and he will grow out of it but im starting to think that he could possibly be autistic as he is showing some of the signs. does anyone have any first hand experience of the subject or any advice on where i go from here? many thanks from a worried mam :-(

[ummmm]

Take him to the doctors.

Take someone with you as well. When I took my son my sister went in and spoke to the doctor while we waited outside. Doctor called him in....a few little tests and referred him to a specialist.

I, personally, wouldn't think they are all related though.

[ummmm]

Take the computer off him. You'll see an improvement instantly.

[lotsafun]

the video games have been a big issue and many times we have confiscated them for months at a time, but hes still very easilly distracted. He would quite litterally make a game out of a piece of dust. Before now he has been sat in the very same room as the rest of us are colouring in and soiled himself even though the toilet is down stairs and then said he didnt realise he done it. Its like he gets lost in his own world

[ummmm]

I don't think the soiling himself is related though.

Take him to the doctors.....they will do tests and refer him if needs be.

[woofgang]

baseline is that you are his Mum. If you think there is a problem then likely there is ...as a matter of fact I think here is one too...I am amazed that the school hasn't picked up on it. You can start with the doc or start with the school, either way, you and this lad need some help.

[jake-the-peg]

There are a number of so called Autistic spectrum disorders.
http://hcd2.bupa.co.u...eets/html/autism.html

It does sound though rather symptomatic of some of the disorders.

My son was diagnosed with ADHD - he wasn't particularly badly behaved as the popular stereotype but had lots of difficulties with concentration and writing. He was referred by the GP and went through a number of appointments and tests with a specialist prior to a diagnosis

Again don't believe these Daily Mail stories about everybody getting diagnosed in 30 seconds and shoved on Ritalin at a moment's notice.

I'd caution you though not to get too hopeful - once diagnosed there is not an awful lot in the way of treatment. Ritalin is helpful for a minority of cases almost all ADHD. It obviously means he can be statemented at school and qualify for extra help etc.

One final thought - any body else in the familly with symptoms - there does seem to be an inherited component to some of this

[bobjugs12]

Contact your sons school. Arrange an appointment to see his teacher and the SENCO (Special Needs Co-ordinator). Explain your worries and ask them for help with regards to an Educational Psychologist.
The school will have dealt with Autistic children before and there will be a framework for help. If this route provides no joy then contact the National Autistic Society for advice.

Autism is not the end of the world, and if your son has an ASD then it actually makes life easier as you have a clearer idea of how to stabilise and improve his life. Autistic kids can be hard work and very frustrating, but once you realise it's not his fault then dealing with the accidents, the tantrums, the violence and the nastiness becomes a lot easier.
You are not alone, there are at least 3 others on here with Autistic kids (including myself)

[zzxxee]

i think barmaid has a stepchild who is autistic she maybe able to help

[ummmm]

From what Bob says....it was sons nursery who tentatively told me they thought he might be autistic.

[cazzz1975]

ask for a referral at the doctors, there are a whole host of conditions related to poor communication and learning, to be tested for autism he would be required to be assessed over a period of months by a multi discipline team. If he has got to age 9 in mainstream then he is doing better than you think (schools normally notice autism very early on)
lots of children display the above habits as you have described without being on the spectrum. a doctors referral and assessment should put any worries to bed.

[bobjugs12]

Same here ummm,
We had a fantastic nursey manager who spotted it within months of my son moving out of the baby room.
The biggest initial hurdle was my attitude towards what she was saying. I had a proper 'ostrich' moment, and sat there saying "theres nothing wrong with MY boy!"

[ummmm]

Lol....I still say there's nothing wrong with my boy.....just take the hammer off him and he wouldn't dent the walls would he?

[cazzz1975]

both my sons autism was picked up at age 2, both boys behaviour was markedly different from normal children, it was picked up at their 24 month check up. they were referred from there.
Autism is a spectrum though, my sons are both classed as moderate and severe and are a full time job. some high functioning autism can be managed with support in a mainstream environment. if your son is on the spectrum it is better to get the diagnosis from an education point of view as this will allow him to have tailored help for his educational needs and support via a senco.

[bobjugs12]

LOL ummmm, I've said the same to people about my lad. Some of the random statements I've come out with over the years because of his quirks are quite comical.
Walking round Tescos "Katie put the Coco Pops back, Jayde no chocolate, Michael put your willy away" all in the same calm, deadpan voice

[ummmm]

Owen's obsessed with time. He checks the time constantly and sleeps with a clock. He buys me a clock every birthday and mothers day....and then sleeps with it.

[bobjugs12]

Just a quick poll, how many of the people on here have kids with some form of ASD?

[jake-the-peg]

Me (obviously)

[lotsafun]

thanks guys for replies, i really apprieciate them. ive got a appointment to see his teacher on friday to see if she has picked u. p on any unusual behaviour.