When is the right time to have a second baby?

[yellownana]

When would you say the right time to have a second baby is? My daughter is 16 months old. I'd love a playmate for her and think that if i have them close together it'd be better this way. But i don't think i want to go through all the pregnancy and labour again just yet. :-)

How do you make such a massive decision and when is the right time in your opinion?

[redcrx]

the decision was made for me, my son was 2 when i fell pregnant again.
If you dont feel ready then wait a bit, theres no rules to follow :)

[Noseyparker]

There is never a right time, but go ahead it is great fun to have two. Just don't think you know everyhting now that you have had one.

[annie0000]

Everyone will have had a different experience, and it is difficult to compare unless you have more than 2. I had a 13 month gap between my two - wouldn't have recommended it at the time, but is great now and has been since they were about 5 and 6.

[katerich48]

i agree with annie0000 its not much fun having them close together especially when the first is only one year old and a new baby comes along...But now that they are 7 and 8 they are like best friends and play together all the time....it also helps when they are both the same sex prob..

[sherrardk]

It's dfferent for everyone but with hindsight I wish the gap between baby 1 and baby 2 (3 1/2 years) was not so big, the gap between baby 2 and baby 3 is 20 months (which now seems just about right) and between baby 3 and babies 4 & 5 is 2 1/2 years (which is probably just as well given that a 2 1/2 year old and twins is quite hard going).

[LoftyLottie]

My goodness sherrardk. I am surprised you have the energy to be on here at this time of night. How old are they now?

[sherrardk]

They are 9, 6, 4 and 2 year old twins - they are good as gold and the four youngest are all fast asleep by 8 and I have to wake them all up in the morning. (And yes, they were all planned but I hadn't reckoned on twins!) When I am out and about I look like a mobile creche.

[annie0000]

I did read somewhere once that the usual gap of 2-3 years is actually one of the worst to have as the new baby arrives just in the middle of tantrum season!

[k8bailey]

:( my 1st turned two on Friday and #2 is due in 11 weeks - you're all putting me off now!!

Seriously though there isn't a 'right time' that suits everyone. For a long time I couldn't even think of having another baby, because I love my 1st child so much and was content with it just being the 3 of us, but then one day it seemed right, and a couple of weeks later I was pregnant - I had imagined it taking longer to get pregnant and therefore having a slightly bigger age gap!!

Depends on the older child too I imagine, my daughter is a very good sleeper, sociable, caring, independant and loves babies, so I'm hoping that will help!

[tigwig]

As others have said its a personal choice but right up until 2 years ago when my only child was almost 5, I was adamant I didn't want another. Just before she started full time school I realised I couldn't live without having another and now I have a 5mth old baby! There is a 5 yr age gap and she adores her baby brother and is very helpful. Plus she doesn't have the jealous tantrums that a toddler would have.

[Lindylou]

As soon as you can after the first. Siblings who are close in age get on together better than those who aren't. My best friend has a brother who is seven years younger than her and its virtually a total different generation.... they have nothing in common at all. At best they are polite to each other and kind to their mother. Whereas my sister and myself have less than 2 years between us and its us against the world! Pregnancy and labour altogether is less than a year - and in a lifetime (yours) is not really a such a very long time. I had 3 children in four and a bit years. They are all best friends. (Though it was hard at the time I will admit but SO worth it in the end).

[NiallsMama]

I alwys told myself If I didn't get preggers before my 1st signed up for nursery (3) I wouldn't have another,,,,Lo and behold I miscarried when my son was around 2, and got caught again not long after.....My Daughter was born a week after no1 started nursey :) they are finding it more ammicable now No2 is walking talking a bit, they even share a room, hoping they will be close when they are all grown up x