visiting grandparents

[jb190281]

my baby isn't even born yet and this is stressing me out!!

mother in law lives 40 min drive away but she doesn't drive so we go to her. my parents live 2 hour drive away but they drive so have ability to visit more.
MIL has 3 other grandchildren; this will be my parents' first.

my problem is.. i just know MIL will feel left out, but I know my folks will drive here and make more of an effort. also, claws out, I want them to be closer to the child cos they're just more loving. I'm going to spending a lot of my time alone with the baby cos of OH's work patterns, is it selfish of me to want my mum to be more involved?

I don't know if I'm even expecting answers, i just wanted to vent!!

[k8bailey]

I don't get on v.well with my MIL either, I would never dream of having her look after either of my two, but frequently leave them with my mum....my MIL has never questioned this, I ued to feel bad but she sees the kids regularly and has 2 other grandchildren who she looks after quite often so I don't worry about it....MIL is wierd and getting worse, I'm just protecting my babies!

Just do whats right for you and your little one, maybe you'll change your mind maybe not - don't worry about it now though!

[jb190281]

had a chat with OH today, went better than I thought and I realised I'm being a bit of a cow (my mum will still be a better nan lol).

I also realised I'm stressing out for a number of reasons, and I've gotta take a step back. thanks for all the answers! x

[sherrardk]

You'll look back on this post when the baby has been born and think 'good grief, I was a total nutcase when I was pregnant!'.

[jb190281]

I'm already able to see that sherrard!! thanks for your answers though, very helpful insights

[jaydah]

Dont burn your bridges with MIL, your gonna need someone trustworth & reliable closeby.

Your mum is 2h away and w/e with her would give you & OH a break. The father has equal rights to babe & needs consideration.

[Whickerman]

When I was growing up, my mum's parents were huge in our lives. My dad's never called, we never saw them unless we visited them. I don't know why this is, but that's the situation.
Frankly, they're all dead now but the two that were no part in my life still keep that status - the others I miss dreadfully.

[joko]

if the mil wants more involvement, then its for her to make more effort, not you...its not your fault she cant drive...

[marbert]

jb190281. I can understand your dilemma but please remember that your child will have two sets of grand-parents. And believe me, it's no joke being the other grand-mother---on the child's father's side. We have almost to make an appointment to see the child. Don't get stressed, try seeing other people's point of view. I wish you well.