'Surprise' for my Ex...

[NOX]

I just recieved a slightly strange phone call form the partner of my ex asking me if I wanted to come and stay at their house for Christmas as all the kids would be there and he thought I might like to see them over Christmas as he was touring all over the Christmas period and wouldn't be there. If I go he says I will have free run of their house, food etc already bought, use of a car and it would mean that my ex can accompany him and it would be a ' wonderful surprise for her'. Several things have occured to me about this. Firstly that in my experience my ex really doesn't like 'wonderful surprises' lol, she likes to know exactly what is going on, secondly he's using me as a baby sitter for a week and thirdly I'll have to see her recent ex (not the guy who phoned me, he's her new boyfriend) who I could quite happily beat to death with his own dismembered limb as I will also be babysitting her younger children for the week.
Does this sound like a terrible idea to anyone else or am I just being cynical?
If I don't go he says she'll be home with the kids alone for the whole of Christmas and New Year- not my problem I know but this guy seems quite nice and I get the impression is really trying to do something nice for everyone.

[mazie]

If your wife looks after 6 children on a regular basis NOX she might just like the idea of a week away.If she goes, I think it would be nice for you to spend a full week with your children. Just ignore the other Ex as much as you can. If you go I;m sure you'll have a great time. Good Luck with whatever you choose to do xx

[ladyalex]

How sure are you that he has not already discussed this with your ex-wife ?
It has the sound of a 'If we could only have a baby sitter we could go away and have a wonderful Xmas all on our own..ooh we've just remembered. Nox would love to see his kids at Xmas. Let's ask him to come over to stay. He'd love to see his kids at Christmas.'
If that's what you want, great...and it is a great opportunity for you to see your children at Xmas, but I think you might want to discuss it with your ex first.
If it is 'a lovely surprise' for her she may well really not want it.
I suppose I'm saying, talk to everyone concerned first , get all the info as to who is going to be where and when etc before committing yourself to anything.

[Rubyrose]

Personally, I think it would be nice to be able to spend Christmas with the kids. He doesn't sound like he is being sneaky, he just seems like he is trying to do something nice for your ex. Plus if you see her other ex he'll know that you're staying at the house as they trust you and he never got asked!

x

[bertiebear]

'she'll be home with the kids alone for the whole of Christmas and New Year'

I know which scenario I would choose as a mum, 'without kids' or 'without partner'. No question the children come first. Unfortunately for the new partner he has to realise that your ex comes as part of a package.

As to your question I agree with other posters, could you not have your own children stay with you at Christmas if your ex does decide she wants to spend the time with her new partner? BB

[Eve]

Hello lovely :) Bit late to this one but hope you managed to get it sorted.

My first thought was how would the children feel respectively, I guess I maybe see it as more of a time for the kids and not sure how it would be for them to have mum disappear off with a new partner while some are with their dad and the others who aren't yours are either without either parent or separated from their siblings to go to their father.

I'm not saying they wouldn't have a great Christmas with you, I'm know they'd be wonderfully looked after and have a fab time with you, just struck me when I read that how they'd feel, however well adjusted.

Does the new partner have kids himself? However well meaning, taking her away from her kids at Christmas, especially while some of the kids are so young, and being such a new partner, if it were me, as a mother (hypothetically speaking) I'd definitely want a say in that.

Could they not go away for a break and a rest sometime after Christmas and the tour?