Mother in Law jokes.

[wildwood]

Anyone know any MiL jokes? Any will do. Old ones, new ones, short or long ones. The best one will win 7 days free accommodation in a phone booth at Brighton, please bring your own sleeping bag.

[DTCwordfan]

My wife said: 'Can my mother come down for the weekend?' So I said: 'Why?' and she said: 'Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already'.

[DTCwordfan]

I buried my mother in law a year ago tomorrow. That reminds me, I must take the spade back.

[Hopkirk]

The master at work

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuFy3iCZ3x8&feature=related

[squarebear]

The doorbell rang this morning. When I opened the door, there was my mother-in-law on the front step.
She said, 'Can I stay here for a few days?' I said, 'Sure you can.' And shut the door in her face.

[DTCwordfan]

A Boots chemist tells a customer, 'In order to buy arsenic you need a legal prescription. A picture of your mother-in-law just isn't enough.'

[squarebear]

Sounds like you've just been on the same site I just visited :-)

[chrissa1]

My mother-in-law has just got a job at Heathrow........kick starting Jumbo Jets.

[DTCwordfan]

http://www.guy-sports...ther_in_law_jokes.htm squarebear.

My favourite is this one - and, no doubt, this will get the religious critics going:

A man, his wife and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away.

The undertaker told them, 'You can have her shipped home for £5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for £150.'

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, 'Why would you spend £5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to have her buried here and spend only £150?'

The man replied, 'a man died here 2,000 years ago, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance.'

[janbee]

I know it's not a joke but MOTHER IN LAW is an anagram of HITLER WOMAN. Must be a reason for that eh?

[DTCwordfan]

always why folk term them bl--dy fascists, janbee - now I know why

[marval]

Did you hear the one about the cannibal who got married, and at the wedding reception, toasted his mother-in-law?

A young wife came home one day and found her mother standing in a bucket of water with her finger stuck in the light socket. The young husband was standing by the switch. 'Hello, darllng,' said the mother, 'George has had this marvellous idea for curing my rheumatism.'

[DTCwordfan]

At the funeral, a priest was consoling the bereaved man

'Come, come my good man, tears cannot restore your mother-in-law.'

'Yes, I know... thats why I'm crying.'

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

We got a new car for the mother-in-law – that Government scrappage scheme is great!

[marval]

One cannibal says to the other: "I can't stand my mother-in-law."
The other says: "Why don't you just eat the vegetables?"

DID you hear about the man who threw his mother-in-law into the lion’s den at the zoo?

He’s being sued by the RSPCA for cruelty to animals.

[wildwood]

Great! Now someone else's turn to post a new joke list.

Where have all the Les Dawson, Frankie Howard, Morcambe & Wise, Sydney James etc. types gone? Most 'comedians' now just swear and the only one who think they are funny are they themselves.

Sorry, the MiL spotted this so to keep her quiet I had to donate the prize voucher to her. Now she wants to know when the free accommodation is for!?

[Avatar]

"A police recruit is asked during an exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother-in-law?" He replies, "I'd call for backup."

"I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay... the mice throw themselves on the traps."

"I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors and one of the attendants said: 'Keep her moving sir, we're stock-taking.'"

"I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months. I don't like to interrupt her."

"I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in."

[zzxxee]

My mother in law is banned from playing poker
because she keeps all the chips on her shoulder !

[nightmare]

I miss my mother-in-law......
but my aim is improving

[andy321974]

Ever since my mother-in-law bathed in Loch Ness, people seem to think an ancient monster resides there.