A Couple for ya!

[Jemisa]

I have a new pick up line that works every time. It doesn't matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner & I always end up in bed with them.

Here's how it goes 'Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?'

**********

Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!

[boxtops]

Er - no jem, not this time.

[Poor-Alfie]

rape and ra....................... er no.

[Buenchico]

Fred came rushing in to his Dad. “Dad!” he puffed, “is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?” “That’s what they say,” said his Dad. “Well, give me an apple quick ? I’ve just broken the doctor’s window!”

*** *** **** ***

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do?

Keeps everyone away!

*** *** **** ***

Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?

Someone told him he should get an apple Mac

*** *** **** ***

How do you make an apple puff?

Chase it round the garden

[DTCwordfan]

1 is definitely off - 2 is quite amusing - the EDLites will love it.

[Jemisa]

mmmm! Sorreee folks I didn't see them like that, I thought they were amusing never saw the dark side.
I'll be more careful next time.

(wonder why ed didn't delete?)

jem

[boxtops]

Cheers jem - Ed only takes action if someone reports, he can't read all the posts as they come up.

[Buenchico]

Anyway, Jem, some of us are hard to offend. I found them both (particularly the first one) a great deal funnier than most of your jokes ;-)

[Jemisa]

Thanks for that Chris, considering I post quite a few on here. To think a little one like that tickled your funny bone, (what do they say? Small things please small minds)

:o} _ Jem