Minister refuses to marry us

[CAJ1]

We are due to marry in 2012, we went to meet the Minister of the presbyterian church last week to talk over marriage, our beliefs etc. We have been atending for some time.

We have been together 4 and a half years and lived together for 2 of thos years. The minister refuses to marry us as we live together and he says that is wrong.

Is it not for God to judge whether what we do is right or wrong and not for the Minister to decide? Should he not be there to try to help to guide us rather than tell us we're sinners?

Is this a common issue? We are now looking at going to a different church who will marry us. It is not practical for us to pay for 2 houses and neither of us can go to live with our parents.

[CAJ1]

lol, maybe I should change my beliefs Ratter, I never thought of it that way!

Thats a very good point Boo, I might just voice that in my email when I reply to him! We had to go away and think over whether or not we could live apart and get back to him.

[CAJ1]

Thanks pixi, definitly will be looking into that option if this doesn't work out. x

[1stseeker]

I have never heard of a church refusing to marry a couple just because they live together, that's rediculous, I would have thought the church would have wanted you to marry as soon as if that's how they feel. Personally I gave up on the church years ago when a teenager, I have ever only known one brilliant vicar and when he left this country to go to africa to do missionary work, I lost interest and frankly the church don't like my sort anyway, I have no religion as such, but remain open to all spiritual things.

[dotty.]

Is there not a chapel on the airbase?

[atalanta]

Go to the registrar's office , and find the notice-board with the Banns on it. Do the same for the churches around you. I shall be surprised if more than ten percent of the couples live at different addresses.

[whiskeryron]

dotty,What airbase ?

[DTCwordfan]

Would be interested to get New Judge's views here on this one of CAJ's issue, or any other lawyer with civil/family/canon law experience about the legality of this.

could make a good test case.....

I think it is disgraceful that the minister has behaved like this when you have put the time into attend.

[dotty.]

CAJ is marrying a serving airman.

[piggynose]

http://www.yourchurch...s-to-choose-from.aspx

[classylady60]

I am far from a religious person, however I can see the point that if a person/persons don't adhere to the ethos of a church or its religious teachings they shouldn't be surprised at being refused permission to marry at that place of worship. A personal opinion of mine is that anyone living together shouldn't be married in church as that is not what church weddings are for...hence the bridal gown being white. I should think unless a couple can abide by their religion and live by its code then they shouldn't expect to be married under the umbrella of that church. Today's society is such that anything goes and yet people still expect to be accepted into areas where in fact they are "flouting" the laws. Register Office is usually the option for those who don't fit within the religious views of some churches.

[Ric.ror]

Tell him your going to the Catholics
He'll soon change his tune

[tinkerbell23]

Caj, it happens alot here with friends and family, were catholic...and it happens alot round here ...unless u lie and hope god forgives hehe.

My friend was refused her child christened as she wasnt married to the dad. That particular priest (god forgive me!) is a pudding!!! X