Hysterectomy
Mick and Paddy are in the pub and Mick says "Say Pat, did that wife of yours have all that hysterectomy business?"
"Aye she did that Mick," Paddy replies. "And to be truthful I don't much look forward to ever shaggin' it again, the f****** size the thing must be now, all the innards gone."
"Ahh don't be so soft, Pat." Mick chides, "It'll not feel a scrap o'difference to ye, it'll still be the same size it ever was."
"Oh I very much doubt that Mick", says Paddy. "In fact I heard the doctor tell her that when he was finished she could go home and put her feet up”