to cut a long story short i want to get married, my partner of 5 years doesnt, he thinks marriage is only a piece of paper. I on the other hand think its more than that. Were not arguing about it, just having a debate and just wondered what all of your thoughts are on it? i think that morally its the right thing to do, especially when you have children, that its the best way to show your love and are totally committed to eachother, i think it sets a stronger family unit and sets a good example to your children. god i can go on and on......
Im not naive and stupid to not know that its hard work and its all happy ever after (im a divorcee) but i still believe in it despite that. What are your thoughts? this should be interesting???????
I like the idea of marriage in the sense that I like the idea of two people celebrating their love and committment to each other. However, I would want to marry with just me and the person there, I'm not interested in having guests, a fancy wedding or anything like that. I think it should only concern the two people involved, and possibly kiddies if there are any. You can have a party for everyone else afterwards.
China Doll, you have whatever type of marriage you want, the two of you as preacher and a witness. In this day and age £2000 - £6000 on a wedding could be better spent on a home.
some may say im old fashioned but i would disagree, theres nothing wrong with the tradition of marriage, its worked for hundreds of years for many people. When i first put the post up and saw some of the replies i honestly though that perhaps im behaving like a spoilt brat for wanting marriage but was happy to then see that some share my opinion on it. The tradition of marriage is definatley 'dying out' sadly ;-/
and sadly the majority of weddings nowadays are all about showing off and getting into ££££££ of debt only to be divorced a couple of months after. My idea of hell personally!
My marriage lasted 63 years, until he died. There wer plenty of problems but somehow or other we overcame them and stayed together. I think the basic thing is we loved each other and that is the only thing that counts.
Someone I knew did not divorce or make a will when he left his wife and went to live with another woman. When he died his wife took everything and left the other woman with nothing, so maybe it is best legally to do things properly.
The question you have to ask yourself is why he wont get married? If it's just a piece of paper to him then what's the harm in it if it makes you happy? Anyone who refuses when their partner so wants to is obviously not as committed as they say or they would get married, if only to please their partner.
It means different things to different folk. To me, I agree with your husband; that a piece of paper doesn't affect feelings or commitment or anything. An excuse for a reception, and a few gifts are about the only benefit. I see nothing moral in it at all.
How does it make for a stringer family ? How is it a good example ? How is it any harder work that a relationship where a ceremony hasn't been gone through ?
But the thing is that neither of you are going to convince the other, it just needs one of you at least to be adult about it and allow the other to win this one. After all what is most important ? It's the relationship isn't it ? So try to not let this sour it.
Ah now I see this is already 3 pages long; well I'll post anyway.
In my opinion, I think they have made it far too easy to get divorced these days and people these days are not prepared to work at a marriage. Just cos you have got married doesn't mean you should stop working at the relationship.
I don't think marriage matters personally. I think if you are with someone because you want to be, what more is there to say? lotsafun - I would always call your beautiful daughter a lovely unplanned surprise rather than an accident:)