not quite right words

[Dee Sa]

my ex MIL [ god rest her soul] used to come out with some eg :-
I like evacuated[ evaporated] milk in my tea
the doctor said my collies[colleagues] and me agreee ...
i have vacated [ vacuumed] the living room for you
put it in an enveloke [ envelope]
that didnt take the brians of George Lloyd[ Lloyd George]
did you have someone like that in your family ? we all knew what she meant but it never used to come out quite right bless her.

[emmie]

he is very hypothetical, as opposed to hypocritical.
there are others but some just don't bear repeating

[jake-the-peg]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malapropism

for some famous examples

[starone]

My late MIL always called spaghetti - cofetti (the grocer knew her so knew what she meant) and always pronounced funeral with an r in it - frooneral.

[vulcan]

my neighbour always said legarth when he meant lethargic.

[DrFilth]

a bloke said to his son after he picked an item up of the floor

don't touch that it is dirty you will catch that itv

[Pinkypie]

My gran still calls the Conservatives 'conservatories' :0)

[Dee Sa]

when ITV first started way back my posh grandma used to call it "the foreign" - no it wasnt on the BBC dear it was on the foreign ! and she would watch Ascot etc on tv and pick out the so called winner by its "pretty tail".

[Brinjal]

A pretty tail is as good a method as any of picking out a winner.

[maggiebee]

My daughter collects for shoeboxes to be sent to a mission in Malawi which her church is connected to. My friend also helps out for the "poor people in Malawally" bless her.

[Quassia]

Lol Dee! Brings to mind Hilda Baker & the master of gobbledigook ....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDUCYLZhP58&feature=related

[grasscarp]

I used to know someone who talked about the nuclear detergent (instead of deterrent).

[sallybb]

as a child I used to call grissle in meat 'grunt'

[abstibus]

Semi-skilled milk, futility room, suggestive biscuits