Thats why I don't cook. Bought a book once called something like 'The basic basic cook book' and it was supposed to be a very basic guide for know nothings, but it had lots of references to things like 'use a good sized knob of butter'! What the hell is a good sized knob? (Answers on a postcard please)
i have a great cookbook that i always refer to - it's written for students going away for the first time. Called "how to boil an egg".
It even tells you how to make beans on toast