Mrs O's Post re Horrible Easter

[maggiebee]

Just to balance things out a little, I think I am a very nice MIL who has a really nasty daughter-in-law. If it wasn't for my grandchildren whom I love dearly I don't think I would ever visit. She told everyone at the dinner table two Christmases ago that she would never buy me a Birthday present/card or Christmas present/card because, after all, I wasn't her family. It was up to my son to do that. Likewise she wouldn't buy anything for my daughter or any of her family because they weren't her family either. She is oblivious to the fact that I buy her and her two sons (from a previous relationship) both birthday and Christmas presents. I also buy at Christmas for her mother, brother, sister-in-law and their family. Maybe I should take a leaf out of her book, it would certainly make my spending so much less. Very hurtful to both me and my daughter.

[gness]

Difficult one Maggie. Hard to change what has become expected but if it is any help here is what I did. Mind you I was dealing with nicer people than your in-laws seem to be.
We always bought presents for my brother, SIL and children. When my OH died they invited daughter and me to spend Christmas with them and SIL`s family. Not wanting to start having to buy presents for them and vice verse I told them,well in advance, what I would do. I would provide entertainment in the form of The Present Game. You probably all know it. The one with lots of little gifts and two packs of cards. It costs me about £25-£30 throughout the year gathering lots of fun and silly things and goes down so well it`s a yearly request. You could be brave and suggest that and save real presents for those you love to buy for.
And nasty daughters-in-law are a pain. Thankfully mine has gone. I was so nice to her but just let me see her crossing the road when I am in my car!

[DTCwordfan]

So you drive a Mercedes, gness, an old one - one of those with the gun-sights to aim the machine gun.......

[gness]

And the swords that spring out of the wheels, DT. OH! I am so prepared.

[zebo]

I do agree that the d in law sounds an unpleasant person and whether or not you give to an extended family is a matter of personal choice, but can I be a bit of a devil's advocate here. I would bet that in the vast majority of families, it's the wife who buys the presents, cards etc for all the relatives etc. I used to get fed up of my OH saying, an Christmas Eve almost, What have we got for my Mother???? Is she saying that she expects her husband to do his share and buy for his Mother? Or am I just being very kind in my interpretation of her words? I suspect the latter.

[weecalf]

she sounds a right bard

[gness]

Zebo, you are kind. You say "used to get fed up" so like me you may now be on your own. If not, and for any other female who is asked "What have we got for my mother?" at the last minute.........produce a leopard skin bra with tassels and a G-string. Might not work but worth it for the look on their faces.

[TheOtherHalf]

Im hoping I will be a nice MIL when my son gets around to it. I dont think I will go to the lengths that you have maggie about buying pressies. You are probably just `too nice `

[karenmac60]

I'm with eccles here. I buy for my side, mr mac buys for his and all are labelled jointly. We obviously know our own families' tastes better. I certainly wouldn't be buying for extended family.