Have you tried this?

[marval]

Maggie Kelly was off to Dublin to do her Christmas shopping.

'Be careful,' said Mary McGee. Those Dublin stores charge far more than you'd pay here in Sligo. They always double the price. So when you get there only offer them half.'

'I will,' said Maggie, and indeed she did.

'The green dress in the window,' she said. 'It's priced at £40. That's much too dear!'

'Madam,' said the salesman, 'believe me it is a very reasonable price.'

'Don't give me that,' said Maggie. 'I know your kind, you're all robbers of the worst kind - I'll give you £20 for the dress.'

'Look, madam,' said the salesman. 'I don't want a scene. If you calm down, I'll let you have the dress for £20.'

'In that case,' bellowed Maggie to a gathering crowd, 'I'll give you £10 for it.'

'Madam, please,' begged the salesman, 'I don't want to sully our reputation. If it'll make you go away you can have it for £10.'

'In that case I'll give you £5,' said Maggie.

'Madam, you're driving me nuts. To get rid of you, please take the dress for nothing.'

'In that case,' said Maggie, 'I want two!'

[starone]

Tee-hee what a cheeky monkey.