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Management Skills
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My daughter is 39 and works in the media industry. She has a male assistant who has a large presence and who patronises her by calling her "sweetie", etc. When she tells him what is to be done next, he says he will do that later. She isn't forceful enough but I feel she needs a technique to deal with it. Any suggestions, please?
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Does she work somewhere that has a good back-up structure - regular appraisals, training reviews etc? Even if not she should bite the bullet and have him in for a talk. She should set out some ground rules and objectives for him. Apart from that she should seek help from her own manager. Ask for some Assertiveness and Management courses.
This calls for closer management. ie tighter deadlines and more regular meetings/reviews with him to check on progress of the tasks. In the end it will need to be daily and she will have to micro manage him which will take away all freedoms and decision making on his part. He'll hate that and will either perk up or walk.
Can I ask, how much of this is what you feel for your daughter - and how much is her own direct complaint?
It's natural to feel protective but she's 39.....if she doesn't get wound up by this guy, then leave it. Some people (I'm not one) are incredibly good at getting their own way by giving others enough rope in the longer term. So while she's being called sweetie, he's her assistant.
If it is winding her up, she needs to tell him straight out in front of witnesses not to call her sweetie. Maybe lighten it by saying 'because I'm not sweet'.
It's natural to feel protective but she's 39.....if she doesn't get wound up by this guy, then leave it. Some people (I'm not one) are incredibly good at getting their own way by giving others enough rope in the longer term. So while she's being called sweetie, he's her assistant.
If it is winding her up, she needs to tell him straight out in front of witnesses not to call her sweetie. Maybe lighten it by saying 'because I'm not sweet'.
She needs to be calm, consistent, professional and assertive. There are courses that can be done on skills like assertiveness though maybe one specific to the workplace.
If she has been letting things go up until now then I'd say a quiet friendly word initially to ask him if he would stop calling her that etc... as if she has never expressed a problem previously it might cause issues getting to a snap moment. It might do the trick.
Some people will play up if they don't have boundaries and consistency and feel that they can get away with it. Maybe she needs to be quietly and calmly more assertive and give him a deadline eg on my desk by x time, making sure it is reasonable. See if he plays ball and, if no, go from there.
If she is going to change her style then it should be done carefully as a drastic change could cause more problems, especially if out of the blue and seen as more aggressive/emotional.
I'm not saying it is but sometimes poor/ineffective/lacking management performance can cause as many problems as staff performance issues and one good thing to do is always look at yourself first to see if there is anything you are doing which could be causing or contributing to problems.
If she has been letting things go up until now then I'd say a quiet friendly word initially to ask him if he would stop calling her that etc... as if she has never expressed a problem previously it might cause issues getting to a snap moment. It might do the trick.
Some people will play up if they don't have boundaries and consistency and feel that they can get away with it. Maybe she needs to be quietly and calmly more assertive and give him a deadline eg on my desk by x time, making sure it is reasonable. See if he plays ball and, if no, go from there.
If she is going to change her style then it should be done carefully as a drastic change could cause more problems, especially if out of the blue and seen as more aggressive/emotional.
I'm not saying it is but sometimes poor/ineffective/lacking management performance can cause as many problems as staff performance issues and one good thing to do is always look at yourself first to see if there is anything you are doing which could be causing or contributing to problems.
As a couple of others have suggested, this is typically helped by learning a bit more about being assertive. Assertive is not about being agressive.
The best training is as Jenna suggests - paid for and interactive with a good trainer, but there is some free stuff here: -
http://
I had a brief look at the 2x2 model that the online course mentions and it is similar to things I have used in the past. It might get her started.
The best training is as Jenna suggests - paid for and interactive with a good trainer, but there is some free stuff here: -
http://
I had a brief look at the 2x2 model that the online course mentions and it is similar to things I have used in the past. It might get her started.
If there is a decent HR Manager at the company, she can talk to them and plan an approach. Maybe sit him down in a room (with an HR person if she is not confident) and give clear examples of where his attitude or performance is not acceptable, set out future expectations and give a date for review meeting in 4/8 weeks. Then make a note of the meeting and send him a copy.
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