personal life at work

[breadstick]

Hi

As some of you may remember i have started a relationship with a girl at work and things are going great many thanks to all those who advised, can i ask for more advice though? :)

recently i have discovered my love life as been the subject of much discussion in the workplace to the extent i walk into a room and the conversation stops, there have been many snide remarks at my expense etc

i am an intensley private person as is my partner and we are nothing but professional at work keeping our private and work life seperate

am i justified in going to my manager and explaining i dont want my personal life discussed in the workplace as i dont do it with anyone else?

would i get in trouble for telling those concerned to mind their own business?

[ummmm]

People gossip. They'll find someone else to gossip about it time. I'd let it go.

[mazie]

Just ignore it breadstick

[China Doll]

If you start asking for your personal life not to be discussed or telling people to mind their business then you will probably just aggrivate the situation more, perils of work relationships unfortunately. You can tell people to mind their own business if they ask you directly, but there's ways of telling people to mind their own without using those words, I would think about how you say it.

[Ric.ror]

We have a couple here in a similar situation
Problem is their personel life has a habit of spilling over to their work
TBH - I think its naive not to expect that to happen

[2sp_]

I like to keep private and work life separate too, so you have my sympathies.

The danger in going to your manager is that you'll only encourage more gossip. I would ignore them, they'll move onto someone else soon enough.

[sunny-dave]

Breathe deeply, ignore the crap and get on with your life - if you don't respond to the jibes then they'll soon find another target.

Poking things with a stick is rarely the right answer ...

[Prudie]

Agree with Ummmm. You are the hot topic at the moment but soon it will be something else. If you make an issue of it, it will just escalate and prolong the chat.

[beso]

Then they will discuss your paranoia.

[grasscarp]

As others have said you have to ignore it. People do gossip at work and there is no way to stop it. It would increase it if you went to your manager. Management cannot anyway stop what people say so it would be pointless, but worse than that it would show people that you are sensitive and give them more to talk about! I wouldnt do your last sentence - tell those concerned etc. for same reasons, ineffective and make them not only gossip about you but dislike you for telling them off.
Either put up with it (they will probably get bored eventually) or think about changing your place of work.

[AlwaysConfused]

I've been married for eight years, we work together too. Every now and then, a rumour goes about that there is something going on between us. No s@@t Sherlock - we have the same surname, for a start! I don't even react. Colleagues that know we are married find it amusing, and wind up the situation. 'What, him? Not possibly so, he like blokes' etc. I'm a private person, too. But everyone likes gossip! Don't go to your manager, just looks like you are telling teacher and can't defend yourself. Use a bit of humour, they'll soon get bored and move onto someone or something else.

[joeluke]

Have been in this situation myself.........office gossips are talking about you because their own lives are so dull and empty, probably envious because they are stuck in their own boring, dead-end relationships

[Purple_Popple]

If you dont want your love life gossiped about, dont s**t on your own doorstep so the saying goes, work relationships are difficult enough. I wouldnt entertain a relationship with someone at work, no matter what.

[magsmay]

Hi Breadstick. the best thing you can do is totally ignore the comments as they are more than likely aimed at getting a response from you. The best course of action if you enter a room and the conversation stops is to use humour to deflate them and make them realise how juvenile they are being. There is also the possibility that they actually are being affectionate in a weird way -depending of course on the snide remarks - a bit of affectionate 'ribbing' may be taken the wrong way if you are an 'intensely private' person. hey -people are genuinely interested in whose sh*gging who and you never know -they may be glad you've found someone and you are just being a tad over sensitive. Please don't go to your manager - it will add fuel to the flames and turn what is perhaps affectionate ribbing into a full scale hate campaign -no one likes a tell tale

[Purple_Popple]

It's when the couple fall out it gets interesting lol !! She says he says lol.

[Dee Sa]

ingnore it the more people know it upsets you the more theywill do it, when they see you dont care it will stop and they wiil go on to someone else.
Do not involve your boss in your private life.

[Nibble]

Ignore the gossip, and enjoy your new relationship. Best wishes to both of you for the future.

[Prudie]

I, like thousands of others, met my partner of 12 years at work. We certainly weren't *** on our own doorstep. That means something entirely different.

[Maydup]

There's very little your boss can do about the office gossip which would do anything but highlight it, and that would make it worse. What sort of snide remarks have you heard?

Hold you head up and ride out the storm. It won't last much longer and once your colleagues have adjusted to the new relationship and told each other all about it, it'll be history.

[pizza]

Glad the relationships going well breadstick and like others have said,enjoy it try not to be so sensitive and a great suggestion treat it with humour that will totally confuse the gossips lol
Talk to the people in your workplace, be part of the team so you don't feel like an outsider.