Quotes Rather Than Jokes

[maggiebee]

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said 'no'.

A hard man is good to find.

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it is written on.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

[marval]

I like them Maggie

[starone]

All funny maggie, made me laugh. Some of them with a grain of truth in them!