Humanist Funeral

[beattie819]

Hi everyone
I always enjoy reading posts and discussions here, and dont often post. Its really nice to know you are all here to help when we need it..................and I do need you please. My mum died last night,she was 94 with advanced dementia, I have cared for her at home for the past 8 years. We are going to have a humanist funeral, and I have been searching for "different" non religious poems. My eyes have gone boggy, so I have come to AB to help me with some ideas :) I might not be able to reply to posts tonight, as I have so many people to ring, but will be back tomorrow. Thanks all so much, all you good folks out there in cyber space x

[society]

My sympathy to you and yours. Hope your mum had an easy passing. x

[vulcan42]

might be something suitable here.
http://www.funeralhelper.org/funeral-poetry/non-religious-funeral-poetry.html

[sunny-dave]

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep - Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep,
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the Diamond glints on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle Autumn rain

When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quite birds in circled flight
I am the soft stars that shine at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there, I did not die

Mary Elizabeth Frye

[vodkancoke]

I'm so sorry for your loss beattie. Thinking of you xx

My friend's mum had a humanist service recently and this poem was read out at the end. It's a very long poem but she just picked out 3 or 4 of the verses to be read out:

http://www.poeticexpressions.co.uk/POEMS/Iftomorrowstartswithoutme.htm

[Sharingan]

I like this poem.

She Is Gone

You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

David Harkins

[murraymints]

Sorry for your loss Beattie....

[maggiebee]

Sorry to hear of your loss. I remember hearing this poem once, but can't remember where.

If I should die before the rest of you
Break not a flower nor inscribe a stone
Nor, when I’m gone, speak in a Sunday voice.
But be the usual selves that I have known.
Weep if you must.
Parting is hell.
But life goes on.
So sing as well.

Joyce Grenfell

[Maydup]

Some of the beautiful poems i thought of have already been mentioned; I hope you find something that suits you and your memory of Mum. Thinking of you Beattie. Take one day at a time and post whenever you feel like it there's always someone about to help and support.

[beattie819]

Thank you so much for your suggestions, you have been a real help x

[gness]

Dear Beattie....you have my admiration for caring for your Mum for all these years.....so hard.... but you must have loved each other so much....
Lovely poems here already to choose from so I will just offer my thoughts and love... Gx

[Jeza]

This is what on my sons flowers.

Say not in grief, he is no more.

Live in thankfulness that he was.

[BAKERS DOZEN]

So sorry to hear your news. Our thoughts are with you at this sad time. Here is a poem I like but I don't know the author.

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me,
I want no tears in a gloom-filled room,
Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little – but not for long
And not with your head bowed low,
Remember the love that we once shared,
Miss me – but let me go.

For this is a journey we all must take,
And each must go alone,
It’s all a part of the master plan
A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart
Go to your friends that we know,
And bury your sorrows in doing good works,
Miss me – but let me go.

[marval]

I am sorry to hear of your loss.

There are some poems here.

http://www.naturalendings.co.uk/funeral-poetry.asp

[nungate]

Hello Beattie, so sorry to hear your news.
We held a Humanist funeral service for my step father, it was a really nice comforting service. One of the poems we had has already been posted here, (do not stand at my grave etc. - a poem I really like) I'm sorry but I can't remember the other one at the moment. There is a nice one by Christina Rosetti called: Remember
Remember me when I am gone away
Gone far away into the silent land
When you can no more hold me by the hand
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay
You tell me of our future that you planned
Only remember me, you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had
Better by far that you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad

My stepfather chose the music he wanted beforehand, have you given any thought to any of your mum's favourite pieces that she might liked to have played?

Take care and please let us know if there's anything else you might need help with or if you simply wnt to chat

[DaisyNonna]

Condolences Beattie. Your loss must be great. Hope you have found a suitable poem here.

[tiggerblue10]

Sorry for your loss Beattie xxx

[beattie819]

Thank you lovely people, you all helped me very much with your suggestions. I am still pondering, but will be getting together with my sisters tomorrow to sort it all out. We are not having hymns. We will have Bright Eyes, by Art Garfunkle, Elusive Butterfly by Val Doonican,and a 1918 song that she loved called Kkkkatie, beautiful Katie
Youre the only Ggggirl that I adore
When the mmmmoon shines on the Ccccowshed
Ill be waiting by the Kkkkitchen door.
She was a fun lady, who lived life to the full.
Thanks all for your sympathy.x

[morganwilkinsonn]

You were the light that have enlightened my way
You were the need that my soul had searched every time

When I fell down with little feet, you were there to hold me
When I craved for a peaceful sleep, your lap was the best place, I found

When I shed my tears, you were there to stop them from rolling down
But when it rolls down today, I wait for you to rest them with your love my mom