just would like to say to every one who answered my question a big thankyou...it was the first time i had done this and was overwhelmed with all the answers.i took the time and read them all.our doc has now passed us ontoa child physchatrist and family therapist..i know it will take time and yes there is light at the end of the tunnel,but its the bumby road we go through to get there,for all of us.