My Mum

[Cocacolaaa]

I feel like im beginning to not like my mum very much. It's a problem for me.

I think she is rude mannered, hard, and mean sometimes.

I am in my early 30's. My mum has been single for many many years, she doesn't have lots of friends, and I am an only child who lives in a different country from her.

She makes no effort to go and meet people and I'm worried she will be alone all the rest of her life, and she will be my responsibility, and I feel she owes it to herself , but also me, to get out there and meet people, i dont like feeling bad and guilty for living my life simply because she will not join groups, or befriend anyone and is lonely. I feel bad for her.

She also burps all the time, and i find it rude and bad manners.

She is always on about death, and illnesses, and it makes me panic and worry and I get stressed about it. My dad died 2 years ago and this was a very sudden shock, (my mum and dad were not together) .

She has a very hard attitude to things. Conversations of death and illnesses, judgmental about people from the past. She also uses bad language sometimes (all this is only with me, shes quite pleasant to other people she meets, you would never know). She has cut her phone off because its too expensive, and also the internet, and now we have no way of communicating apart from over text messages. It's doing my head in. I feel stressed out by her, and irritated and in i wish she would be more civilized, less hard, and make friends with people. She is a really lovely person, cheerful, colourful, good fun, when she meets people they all like her, but she just cant seem to make friends. It bothers me. She also doesnt drink alcohol, so it makes it harder for her to meet people as she doesnt hangout in bars and stuff.

I feel there is no answer for this question. I feel this is a way of life. I wish she would soften up and stop being so bloody defensive all the time and meet people and go places with people. Rant rant rant. Please, I love my mum, i really do, but i cant handle her, i wish my dad was still here and Id be able to talk to him about it. x

[Sqad]

Boxy.......from her posts, we have no or little idea of the character of the OP.

My comment was to ANYBODY who fits her description of:

\\\\\She is a really lovely person, cheerful, colourful, good fun, when she meets people they all like her,\\\\

Many of us would be proud to emulate ..mother.

[leahbee]

You say that she lives in a different country from you. It strikes me that you want her to meet someone so that any responsibility is taken away from you.

[boxtops]

Indeed - I get your drift.

[DTCwordfan]

Neither do I, sqad....that's a tad harsh.

I think you need to sit down with your Mum and talk this through, perhaps over a meal so she's not on your turf and vica versa and, in public, there has to be an element of control.... I would tackle it by a series of comments and then open questions to "why the behaviour" - I would read this as depression and perhaps intensified by grief over your Dad.....one of the conclusions maybe to look at her medication......also if she is in her late 40s/early50s is she going through the menopausal gate - that could be wrapped up in all of this too as to the (substantial) hormone changes.