Speaking Ill Of The Dead - Right Or Wrong?

[mrs_overall]

A fairly well known local man died last Thursday. He wasn't the most popular man in town but the amount of vitriolic comments I have heard about him since he died has surprised me. Not one person has expressed their sorrow for his three young children: all comments seem to be along the lines of good riddance to bad rubbish.
I am not saying I liked this man but I think the comments I have heard are disrespectful to his family.

[netibiza]

I don't believe in saying untruthful things about the dead, but with their friends or family I say very little, I can't lie but would not want to hurt them, but come on they must know he was a B******.

[mccfluff]

Im not going to pretend i liked someone when i didn't if they died but at the same time, i 'd keep my opinions to myself

[carrust]

I know of a small town in North Yorks where a family terrorised the local neighbourhood...nicking cars, burgulary etc. Anyway, four of the sons were in a stolen car one night, they lost control & it crashed killing them all. Some of the residents had a party to celebrate their demise.

[sara3]

I'm not sure.. do the same rules apply for Maggie Thatcher, or other contentious folk?

[society]

When one dies people say either good or bad about them.

[2sp_]

Apart from it being bad manners to speak ill of the dead, it's just pointless. The person you didn't like and thought very little of is the one person who can't hear you.

Family and friends will be more than aware of the flaws of the person who has died, I think that just after the death really isn't the time to be reminding them that the recently expired was a liar/thief/cheat/scumbag.

Better to say nothing at all, or if you are cornered say something vague like "he definitely left a mark on the world" or "she will leave a gap".

[ummmm]

I depends who you're saying it to. If I want to speak ill of someone who died in the comfort of my own living room I'm free to do so.

I've lost count of the times I've been asked if I was going to attend someones funeral. They always seem a bit surprised when I say no.

[society]

People should be careful of what they say about the dead, the dead may come back to haunt or torture their lives. :)

[woofgang]

I think, like you, Mrs O that it is plain good manners to keep one's opinions to one's self at such a time, to say to the family that you are sorry for their loss, and if you can, find something honest and good to say about their lost relative. Unkind gossip at such a time (no matter how true or well founded) reflects more on the gossipers than on the deceased.

[society]

"I think, like you, Mrs O that it is plain good manners to keep one's opinions to one's self at such a time, to say to the family that you are sorry for their loss, and if you can, find something honest and good to say about their lost relative. Unkind gossip at such a time (no matter how true or well founded) reflects more on the gossipers than on the deceased. "

...and what Woofy said too. Very well said, Woofy!

[woofgang]

thank you society!

[viv38]

If someone's nasty in life when they die it doesn't suddenly make them a saint, but I'd be careful not to criticise the defeased in front of his children.

[Peter Pedant]

one of my relations went to a funeral where the fella had ended his own life

and the congregation had to sit thro a speech from the vicar saying it was all their fault he had done it.

They were apparently too stunned to walk out


I went to one funeral of an old fella, full of years and a church goer
and his son's eulogy consisted of telling us what it was like to be on the run from the police ! One of the siblings got up and told the priest to shut him up