p.s to last question

[Minxie]

sorry didnt make that clear. My partner is putting work first, and making me feel bad for making a big deal of it.

[jno]

depends. Work is a big part of anyone's life, and it's also invaluable to relationships - someone who works is contributing to the shared family income. When you're young, this may be more important: you often have to work harder and longer to get yourself established, and to get your savings going (if you want to buy a home, for instance).

But work-life balance is important - you work to live, you don't live to work. What are his reasons? It may be he feels he has to be the breadwinner - men often do, as women still don't earn as much. But of course it may also be that he really does enjoy his job more than your company. In that case, both of you have some thinking to do. Does he want to continue doing what he's doing even though he knows it makes you unhappy? Would you rather leave him than go on this way? Are there grounds for compromise - some sort of regular, guaranteed quality time together, for instance? Each couple have to work out their own terms for living together. But making your partner unhappy is seldom a good one.

[xrayspecs]

Nobody lay on their death bed wishing they'd spent more time at work. This is a well used saying but unfortunately what is not so proverbial is what happens when you get fired for not appearing to be "fully commited". Fear is the reason lots of people spend too much time working. A desire to "make your mark" is another.

Work IS important. It's important to feel part of a team, to feel included within a peer group. It is also important to maintain a balanced family life but I would argue that you can't balance the two succesfully because they exorcise very different sets of demons. and despite the best intentions of so called life coaches human beings are not natural "multi taskers". Because of this Work and Family can never be "balanced" sucessfully, an uneasy compromise is perhaps the best we can expect.

[woofgang]

can you be more specific? Does he work till late at night? go in at weekends? work hours for which he is not paid? etcet?

[Minxie]

Thank you for all your answers. My question was very brief. We dont live together, but have been seeing each other almost 4 years. So financially he is supporting himself. Not me or my children. He doesnt manage money well. And is driven by earning more money all the time. Havent seen him since Monday as he has been working. And tonight he finished at 10 so have not seen him again. Thats just to summarise things up. But thanks again for taking the time to reply to me xx