Ex husband....

[Roughquest]

I split with my husband of 12 years, at first we separated for a few years only then got divorced, no children. But now, we still get on well, we have both had other flings with other people, but what i cant get my head around is that he treats me so well when we go out for a night out together and we always behave like we are a couple, kissing and stuff, holding hands, the chemistry is there and I realise i still love him more than life itself, but its not normal to behave like this with an ex, we dont sleep together though, but the attraction is mutual....i have asked him how he feels but he wont answer me........yet we just carry on the same....men are soooo complicated...

RQ xx

[Robert G]

So, what's your question?

[scatty mare]

Don't know the background to your split, obviously, but by what you've said you clearly still have feelings for each other. Perhaps he's feeling the same way you do and is afraid to risk rejection. If I were you, I'd invite him out for dinner (and a drink or two for courage!), tell him how I feel and see what his reaction is. Men usually say women are complicated! Maybe he's waiting for it to be spelled out. I know it's easy to say and hard to do, but unless one of you bites the bullet you might miss out on the chance of a reconciliation. And if it doesn't work out as planned, you'll at least know where you stand. Sounds hopeful though!

[acorn]

Why would it not be normal. Just because you cant live together any more doesnt make feelings dissappear. He probably wont answer because he doesnt have an answer. Men think less logically and less in black and white then women. Not critising men but women, myself included, think more practically and therefore if we feel attracted then we cant see a reason not to act on it. But dont forget the reasons why you split. If its a casual thing your after are you sure you wont lose sight of finding soulmate somewhere down the line if you link back up with your ex in a more intimate way? But on the other hand (devils advocate and all) maybe youve both tried the green grass and decided theres no place like home. Not knowing your circumstances i can only offer my own opinion. You are the one who has to make the decision.

[Roughquest]

Most insightful, some good points of advice there fellow AB'ers....thank you, I would like more than anything for us to be back together, but he knows only too well how i feel, i have told him i still am deeply in love with him, but he doesnt say anything about how he feels and sort of 'gets on with life' so I have hit a bit of a stalemate, he wants us to go out together and have fun, i guess i should see how things go, i dont want to push the issue with him, like Acorn said -men do not think like women do, fact, that is so true, and actions do speak louder than words too.

RQ xx

[Dollie]

I agree entirely with Scatty Mare - and I'm a couples counsellor so have come across this situation many times. Seems to me too that there is plenty of unfinished businesss here - one of you has to face up to it and start asking questions !! I wish you well - it isn't all that strange to take up with an ex after a spell apart - some even re-marry when they find that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Good Luck