Music2 mins ago
help!
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Although it's probably too late to suggest this Maisy, but do consider ringing Samaritans if you feel unstable again. They won't be able to solve your problems, but will talk your feelings through with you even in the middle of the night if no one else will. You can also email them if you don't like using the phone. And feeling like this is so difficult, especially if you can't quite pin down exactly what is wrong. But good luck Maisy.
Maisy I think the Samaritans would benefit you hugely. As you say you don't live in UK, so I say ar you near an Easyjet / Ryanair airport and get to UK cheapo? If yes book a flight pronto and have a budget weekend in anywhere UK style.
Then get on that phone and open up your heart. Follow their advice even if it is unpaletable to you. Pro advice followed is better than no advice followed. Let us know how you get on.