gone off sex

[alexey]

i have been with my fiance for eight years and lived with him for five years. we have two young children. ever since we moved into the house five years ago i dont seem to be able to have sex with him. i still love him but i just find sex a bore and could live the rest of my life without it. what is wrong with me? i used to love it. now i dont even think about it i think its disgusting and boring. someone please help me change my mind about it so i can enjoy it again!

[Morrisonker]

I suppose you've maybe experienced a shift in priorities. Being a mother might have made you realise that there are more important things in life than the persuit of pleasure. I don't mean that in a preachy way, i know that you have it both ways but I've heard it's rather common.

Are you turned off by all aspects of sex? You need to find out if it's your fiance that is turning you off or sex in general. If you still indulge in some solo sex then I'd imagine it's related to stress or maybe just that you're so familiar with your fiance that it's not as exciting as it once was. Both these can be sorted fairly easily.

If you're not interested in sex at all I'd consult your doctor, particularly if you're on the pill or any other long term medication. Remember to talk to your partner about it and explain how you're feeling. I'm sure he'd want you to enjoy yourself like you used to and will help in any way he can. But again, experiment with what you want, alone if need be and take time to rediscover what turns you on etc. Good luck.

[spaced]

could also be a trivial thing like your diet. Bad diet lowers the need for sex.

[Morrisonker]

surely bad diet reduces your desire for sex, not need. Sex isn't a need after all :)

[Eels]

Are you on the pill? This affects my libido hugely.

Your own body-image is vital also - if you can't feel sexy about yourself, you'll struggle to feel a tingle for anyone else!

[Drusilla]

Ask parents/ relatives to have the children one weekend every month, enabling you to indulge yourselves a little. If you get used to special time alone on a regular basis, you may start re-kindling the romance that existed before family responsibilities took over. Best wishes.

[Dreaming]

Having young children is tiring, and tiredness can make you feel like having sex is the last thing on your mind.

Is your fiance supportive? Having an unsupportive partner can make you feel resentful and can then affect how you act towards him.

[spaced]

apologies, I meant desire not need.