Shall I teach him a lesson??

[medsecslave]

My 19 year old son is hopeless with money, can't save and spends it on rubbish. Always broke. He's about to go off to Uni so has only ever done casual work. He walked out of his last job now they've written to say he's been overpaid by �143 and they want it repaid. He's ignored the letter so they've written again threatening him with Court action. Today a letter arrived from his bank to say he's �99 overdrawn and he has to contact them to discuss the account. I separated from my husband last year, who himself is in debt to the tune of 19K and because of this, my son expects me to help him out with these debts, meanwhile, he's off to Amsterdam on a football trip shortly with money he's saved from working with his Dad (his Dad saved it for him). Whilst I could sort out these debts for him I really think it's about time he took responsibility and I also feel if I don't make a stand now, I'm storing up a load of grief for myself in the future and I'm wondering if I should just wait for the Court summons to arrive and leave him to it. I talked to my husband about it tonight and asked what WE should do and he said it's not his problem anymore as he's over 18 and can sort himself out. What would other ABers do?

[Suetheramble]

My best lesson in life when I was about that age was I woke up one morning with bills in the post - my parents had divorced and I did not want them to have the extra worry of knowing I was in dept. It too a few months to get things sorted but I sorted it out myself. It was one of the best lessons in life I have had.

[miky]

Respect. Self respect comes from taking control of your own life choses. Therefor to bail out your son would indeed be a disservice to him. How can he learn to be responsible for himself if you take that responsibility away from him?

[Hypognosis]

I am curious to know whether his student loan is likely to be securely in place before his credit rating is amended adversely? In other words, is he jeopardising his Uni place completely?

In your shoes and after checking the facts, I'd be tempted to ask him if scuppering his chances is in any way intentional.

The employer overpayment will be hanging over him at every job application he submits after finishing Uni. Remind him about how job references work.